Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 117

Trigger warning.

Remington sits at home, emotionless on the outside, but breaking on the inside, and pushes Andy away every time he tries to help. "I don't want a hug," he insists, for the fourth time, "just leave me alone."

Andy sighs. "Sweetheart, it's okay to be hurting," he says, hoping to lure Remington's feelings out of him.

The boy looks away stubbornly. "I'm not hurting," he argues, "I'm fine."

"I know that's not true. I'm in the kitchen if you need me." He leaves the boy in the bedroom and goes downstairs, knowing Remington will come to him eventually.

Remington lies on his back, spinning his phone in his hand above his head, watching it without really watching at all. He thinks about what Emerson said to him, how Holly is right and that it's his fault he was raped and stabbed, and about what he said about Andy. He couldn't believe Emerson was being so horrible to the man when Andy has been the only one who hasn't hurt him some way or another. He hates how much they have been arguing recently, and he knows he collapsed because he's so terrified of Emerson dying while they're still down each other's throats. He doesn't want it to end like that. He doesn't want it to end at all.

Emerson gives Sebastian a cup of coffee, and sits heavily in a kitchen chair opposite his brother, who sighs. "You need to tell me what's going on," he says, "no shouting, no fighting. We need to work this out."

The drummer looks down at his mug. "I'm scared," he admits, "I know I keep hurting Remington and it hurts me to say all the shit I've been saying, but seeing him makes this all seem more real. I don't know." He looks up at Sebastian. "It's like-what is he gonna do if I die, Sebastian? How the hell is he gonna handle that? I guess I thought that if-if I push him away, then when I die, he won't be so broken by it."

"This isn't the way to deal with it, Em, it just isn't. I know you're scared. I'm scared. But hurting Remington because of it is just making everything worse. He'll be thinking you don't love him anymore, you know. He'll be so sad because you're his best friend and he's losing you because of some stupid fights that you know he can't handle. He was with someone who fought with him none stop for more than two years, Em. You know that, and you need to realise that you're driving him over the edge."

Emerson sighs. "I know. I can see it in his eyes every time we're together. He's breaking. I want to help him, Sebastian, I want to be there for him, but I am so scared of getting close to him when I could die, and then he'd lose me forever."

"You need to tell him this. You can't keep treating him like you hate him. He'll really start believing it, and it is so hard for him to get out of that mindset." Sebastian sips his coffee. "Look, I don't want either of you to be sad, and I hate seeing you both like this. It breaks my heart. Please, Em, talk to him."

"I don't know how anymore, Sebastian. I don't know what I'm meant to say to him anymore. Every time I look at him it's like I can't control my voice."

Sebastian nods. He understands. "Then text him, or call him. Just do something. He needs his little brother and you need your big brother and I need both my brothers to be best friends again. We all need you guys to stop this. Call him, okay? Tell him he can hang up if you say something that upsets him, but just call him and talk to him and tell him what you just told me. He needs that."

When Andy returns to the bedroom two hours later, Remington is still lying on his back, now with a book held above his head. He's been trying to read it for the past half an hour, but he can't think about anything other than Emerson and how he wants all of this to stop. "I made you some lunch," Andy says, sitting on the bed and putting the plate down.

"Not hungry," Remington mumbles.

"Sweetheart, please talk to me. Or at least come snuggle for a bit."

Remington puts the book down with a huff. "I'm fine," he says.

Andy sighs. "Please don't hide away in here. I want to help you."

"I don't need help. I need you to piss off because you're annoying me." He turns onto his front and looks away from Andy.

"Alright, I'm going. Come get me if you change your mind, and please try and eat at least a little bit."

"No. Not hungry. Bye."

For another hour, Remington doesn't accept Andy's help, and rolls his eyes when a message from Emerson pops up.
Can I call you? We need to fix things. Please?

No thanks.

Please? I don't want to carry on like this. You're my best friend and I need you.

Well I don't need you so fuck off

Remington throws his phone on the floor after replying and digs his face into the bed. Of course he wants to snuggle with Andy for a bit. He never doesn't want that. He just feels like he doesn't deserve it, and that the only thing he does deserve is everything Holly did to him.

At eleven o'clock, Andy comes to check on him again, frowning at the untouched food and the boy still lying on the bed, visibly sad. "Are you ready to talk yet?" He asks softly.

Remington shakes his head. "'m sleeping in the spare room," he says dully, and slides off the bed. He leaves his phone on the floor and sulks out of the room, Andy letting him go without saying anything. The boy will come to him eventually. He always does.

In the spare room, Remington pulls the covers up over his head and tries to sleep but he can't and he tears up. After an hour of trying and failing to sleep, he gives up and accepts defeat, and tip-toes across the hall, pushing the bedroom door open and yawning.

Andy is sleeping, and Remington manoeuvres himself into the man's arms, humming quietly when Andy whispers, "are we after cuddles?" into his hair.

"I was lonely in there," the boy whispers back, "and you're all warm and nice."

Andy hums. "You can tell me to piss off again if you want," he teases.

Remington whines. "Shut up." He turns around and crawls onto Andy. "I didn't eat anything," he whispers.

"I know. It's okay. You were mean to Emerson, though, sweetheart. I saw your texts."

The boy yawns. "I was annoyed," he mumbles, "and he was mean to me first."

"You're very stubborn, aren't you?"

"No."

Andy chuckles. He kisses Remington's hand. "If you say so. Sleep well, angel."