Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 10

Visiting hours are a highlight of Remington's week, and he waits as patiently as he can for the door to open and for either his brothers or Andy to come in. Remington is hoping for Andy because he wants to tell him about the argument he had with Johnathon in the art gallery, and he needs to ask whether the man is right or not. Does he deserve Andy?

Since the fight, which was only yesterday, Remington has been avoiding Johnathon as much as he can, because he's still scared of the man, and also because he's so ashamed of the fact he was so terrified to the point of hallucination. He woke early this morning and looked over at the man sleeping in the other bed, wishing that they hadn't fallen out. He keeps trying to work out why they fight so much. What is it that means they don't get along as well as they wished they did? Is it Remington's fault? It probably is. And if Holly was here, she'd make sure that he knew that it is his fault, that everything that ever goes wrong is always his fault. Maye she's right.

He's happy to see the door open and Andy come in, and stands up for a hug that he's been craving. The man gladly takes the boy in his arms. "Oh no, you're shaking. What's wrong, sweetheart?" Remington loves how he doesn't have to talk, how Andy just know that something's wrong. He shakes his head, not wanting to be released from the safety of his lover's arms quite yet. Andy is rubbing his back and swaying gently, and Remington wonders if he'd still hug him like this if he didn't deserve it. But he does, right? They eventually do separate and sit down, and Andy talks again softly. "It's good to see you, princess, you wanna tell me what's wrong?"

Remington nods and sighs. He does feel a bit better after the hug. "I had another fight with Johnathon," he says quietly, holding his boyfriend's hand.

Andy frowns. "I'm sorry. What did you fight about?"

The boy is grateful that Andy is willing to listen. He needs to talk to someone about it, and figures that Andy is the best person. "He said that I-that I don't deserve you, and that he'll have you instead because you deserve someone better." His voice is soft, sad. He needs reassurance.

The words make Andy sad, too. He hates that someone would ever feel the need to say such a cruel thing to his boy, and it angers him that Johnathon calls himself Remington's friend after everything he's said to him. "That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," he says matter-of-factly, noticing how the boy looks down and sighs, as though he doesn't believe a word he's being told. "What did you say to him?"

Remington looks up at Andy. "Told him that he knows nothing about our relationship." He shuffles up beside the man and rests his head on Andy's shoulder. "He shouted at me and I asked him to stop because I was scared, but he didn't." An arm goes round his waist and the boy leans into the warm body beside him.

"Have you told him about Holly?" Andy asks, trying to come to terms with how Johnathon can let himself shout at the fragile boy.

Nodding, Remington responds. "Yeah, mostly. He-he knows she-um-you know, and he knows that I-that I can't handle being shouted at. He promised me he'd-he'd stop." He's tearing up, and wishes he was more able to control his emotions when he's talking about this. He just doesn't understand why Johnathon gets so angry at him when he's done nothing. But that's what Holly did. She found ways to shout at him for things that were nothing to do with him, and she always managed to make him feel guilty for it.

Andy kisses his forehead. "He's the one is the wrong, baby boy. You told him that shouting scares you and you forgave him last time, but it's not right for him to keep doing this to you."

"I know, but-but I feel bad," he mumbles, "because I-I keep getting scared of things that shouldn't scare me." He lifts his legs up onto the sofa and bends them over Andy's lap.

The rock star happy to see how comfortable Remington is with him. He remembers when the two couldn't even hug. "There is nothing wrong with being scared, and it's not fair for you to feel bad about something that you can't control. You have to remember that you're here to recover and that if something is bothering you then you need to tell someone." His hand draws circles into Remington's side. "Do you have someone you can talk to about it?"

Remington sighs and nods. "Andy?"

The man hums. "Yeah?"

"Are you going to leave me?" The question is so vulnerable.

Andy shakes his head. "Never. I love you and I care about you so fucking much and you'll have to kill me to get rid of me." He rubs kisses Remington's head again. "Princess, I absolutely adore you. I really hope you know that."

A yawn escapes the younger's mouth and he briefly closes his eyes. "Promise?"

"I promise," Andy assures, smiling when Remington holds his little finger out. "I pinkie promise, sweetheart," he says gently, connecting his little finger with the boy's. "Do you promise that you'll talk to someone about Johnathon?"

Remington shuffles around. "I promise," he mumbles, "don't want you to go." This is what he hates about visiting hours. They always pass so quickly. Every other hour of the day goes so slowly, but not visiting hours. He hates how he can't see Andy whenever he wants, that they can't sit in a coffee shop or play scrabble or Mario kart, that he's treated like an irresponsible child.

Andy's heart aches for the singer. He knows Remington is always happier when he's with someone he loves and trusts and it makes Andy feel uneasy knowing that Johnathon has scared the boy more than once recently. "Oh baby boy, I know, I wish I didn't have to go either."

"I love you," Remington says quietly, "I'm sorry for dumping my problems on you." The boy feels bad. There is a part of him that knows that he has no reason to, that it's okay to talk to Andy about things that make him upset, because Andy loves him and cares about him and wants him to be okay. But then there's that part of him that just can't accept that Holly is wrong, that what she said to him and did to him was wrong, because it's easier to just believe her than to fight against her in his head.

The blue-eyed man shakes his head. "No apologies, beautiful. I don't want to hear you ever saying sorry for this, okay?"

Remington yawns again. "Okay," he replies, even though they both know he will still keep apologising for it. He can't help it.