Help Me (sequel to Save Me)

Chapter 111

Trigger warning

"Cancer?" Sebastian asks in a hushed voice, "you've got cancer?"

Emerson nods slowly. "Yep."

"For how long?"

The younger shrugs. "I was diagnosed a few months ago. Only Shy knows."

Sebastian sits up straight. "Wait, you haven't told Remington?" He sighs when Emerson shakes his head. "Look, I know he's delicate, but you need to tell him."

"I will, just-not yet," the drummer insists, "it'll break him, Sebastian."

"Yeah, well considering how you two have been arguing, it doesn't seem like you even care about him. You know that's what he'll be thinking." Sebastian makes a good point.

Emerson sighs. "I don't know how I'm meant to tell him. How the hell do you tell your brother, who is suicidal, that you've got cancer? Do you know what he'll do? He'll stop eating again, and he'll cut, and he'll probably try to kill himself again. I can't do that to him."

"So what? You're just gonna not tell him?"

"I will tell him eventually."

"Eventually? What if 'eventually' is too late? What if you die and he didn't even know you were ill?"

Emerson rolls his eyes. "I won't die," he argues.

"How do you know? It's cancer, Em, not the fucking flu."

"Chill, it's fine."

Sebastian shakes his head. "Oh sure, everything about this is just fine. You've got a life threatening illness, Remington keeps relapsing, and I've been out of jail less than a fucking day." He stands up. "I'm gonna check they're okay. Em, you need to tell him."

In the kitchen, Remington, is sitting in a wooden chair, and Andy is kneeling in front of him, holding his hands to keep him calm. The younger of the two looks up at Sebastian. "Sorry," he says, "we keep fighting."

"It's okay. I know. Are you okay?"

Remington looks back at Andy for a moment. "I think so. " He smiles. "He's not gonna shout at me if I go back in there?" Though the question is intended to be humorous, both Andy and Sebastian can hear how he genuinely is scared that he's going to be shouted at again.

"I'll make sure he doesn't, bub. Come and tell me what's been going on since I've been away. I missed you."

The boy smiles again. "Okay. If he shouts again I'm going home, though."

Back in the living room, Sebastian gives Emerson a look, urging him to tell Remington, but he shakes his head subtly, and the room falls silent. Remington yawns, and Emerson talks. "I take it you're not sleeping, then?"

Remington clenches his jaw. "I am, actually, thankyou. Am I not allowed to yawn?"

"No, it's just that-well-should you really be living with Andy?"

Both Andy and Remington raise eyebrows at this. "I'm sorry?" Remington questions, "we're married, why wouldn't I live with him?"

"Alright, this conversation ends right now. Emerson, stop saying shit that you know will hurt him. Remington, ignore him, he's being a bitch."

Emerson rolls his eyes. "I just don't think Andy is helping you get better, Remington, that's all. I mean-you're still so fucking thin!"

"Okay, I'm going home," Remington announces, pulling Andy up with him. "Whatever the fuck is going on with you, Emerson, get it together! You're really upsetting me."

"Oh boo hoo! Poor Remington!"

The boy storms out of the house, Andy in tow, and waits for him to unlock the car. "I feel like there's something going on that he isn't telling me."

Andy unlocks the car, and the two get it. "Ask him about it, then, sweetheart."

"No. He'll shout again. I know he will." He looks at Andy. "I just don't get why he keeps insulting me. He's supposed to be supporting me."

The man sighs. "I know, but you can't expect you two to always be agreeing on everything, princess. Maybe he's just stressed."

"Stressed or not, he shouldn't be saying this shit to me, Andy. He knows how upset it makes me."

"Just give him time."

As soon as Remington and Andy have gone, Sebastian turns to Emerson and says, "this needs to stop. You're gonna end up really hurting him, Em."

Emerson looks away. "Everything about him annoys me, Sebastian, and I don't know why. I don't want to be arguing with him."

"Okay, fine, but he's your brother, and he's been through a hell of a lot, and you talking to him like you don't care is something he really isn't gonna be able to handle for much longer. Can't you see how sad he looks? Look, I get it, you're stressed, but you can't take it out on Remington, Em, you just can't." Sebastian knows he's being harsh on Emerson, but he can't watch the younger treat Remington like this and not to something. He's only just come home and the last thing he wants is for Remington to end up back in hospital.

The drummer glances at Sebastian, and then looks away again. "Why the fuck are you defending him?"

"Because he's fragile, and if you keep doing this he's gonna end up in hospital!"

"I'm gonna end up in hospital, Sebastian! Do you not care about that?"

Sebastian sighs heavily. "Of course I care about that, but I also care about Remington, and you treating him the way that you are is not going to end well for either of you."

Emerson knows Sebastian is right, and he knows that Remington is going to break if they keep fighting, but he doesn't know what else to do. He can't bear the idea of telling the boy the real reason for all of this. "Just promise you won't tell him. Please? I promise I will, Sebastian, just-I need some time to work out how."

"I get that, but he needs to be told soon. I'm not gonna keep this from him forever. He deserves to know."

Neither of them say anything else. Sebastian wants to respect his little brother's decision to tell Remington himself, but he also has a feeling that Emerson is going to keep putting it off, and that can't happen. He understands why Emerson doesn't want Remington to know, and they all know that the news will not go down well, but he needs to know, and surely him knowing is better than him never being told.