Silence Speaks (Book Two to Silence Series)

Eleven

Two weeks later
I put my curled up hands to my mouth and closed my eyes. I had woken up at three AM. It's close to six now. Today, a year ago, my last living biological family member passed away in a car accident. "Peter?" Loki walked into the living room. I opened my eyes and lifted my head. "Baby what happened?" He walked forward and pulled me into his arms. I shuddered and hung my head. "My aunt, she died last year." I breathed out and Loki got the message. "I didn't even get to say goodbye." Loki pulled me into his lap, encasing me in his arms. "Did you want to visit her today?" I nodded, putting my head against his chest. "I wish she wasn't gone. I miss her so much." My breath hitched. "I know. Do you think you could sleep for a few hours? You look like you've barely slept." I shook my head, afraid that I'll have nightmares if I choose to fall asleep. "I'm not tired." Loki sighed and brought his hands up to wipe my face. "Then I'll make breakfast while you go take a shower okay? Trust me, it'll help." I nodded and slowly got to my feet, stretching and cracking my bones.

I shook my head, water droplets spraying around the room. Loki knocked on the door before opening it and stepping in. "Feel better?" I shrugged and he frowned. "I feel numb honestly." I admitted and he grabbed my face. "Do you want to see Sage today? Bring them with us to the cemetery?" I thought it over before sighing. "As much as I hate to say it, May hated Sage because of the rift they caused between her and Ben. But Sage loved May and I don't think it would be right to keep them from continuing to love her. I'll call Nat." I went to step back but decided against it and leaned forward, pressing my lips to Loki's. "Thank you." I muttered quietly and Loki kissed me again, quickly. "You don't have to thank me. Breakfast is ready by the way." I nodded and he squeezed my shoulder before leaving the room. I grabbed my phone and sat on the bed. I quickly clicked on Natasha's contact and held the phone to my ear.

Loki and I pulled up to the compound and I took a deep breath. "I'm right here." Loki promised and grabbed my hand. I led us into the compound. We stepped off the elevator and eyed the breakfast that everyone was sharing. "Pete, what're you doing here?" I eyed Clint and looked at Tony. "I came to pick up Sage." My baby sibling ran into the room and into my arms. "Hey sweetheart. Ready to go see May?" They nodded and Tony's face dropped. "That's today?" I nodded and shifted my gaze to Natasha. "I'll have them back later. And thanks for letting me borrow your car." She tossed me the keys, which I grabbed and smiled. "Thank you for doing this for them, it means a lot." I followed Sage out of the compound, Loki behind me.

We pulled up to the cemetery and Sage slowed unbuckled their seatbelt. "Sage before we go in there, I want you to know that May and Ben loved you very much." They sniffed and I had to bite back the tears. "I'll get them." Loki mumbled and got out, opening Sage's side for them. I got out and I felt my hands start to shake. I knew I had to do this. "Hey, it's okay." Loki grabbed my hand and I led him and Sage to where we laid May to rest, next to my parents and Ben. "The last of the Parkers stand right here." I mumbled and Sage buried their face in my side. A few tears slipped down my face and I had to make sure that I was composed enough to get Sage home. I knew Loki would likely be driving us home, the state I'm in was not at all safe for driving. Sage tugged on my shirt and I looked to them. They pointed to Ben's grave, a bit of a ways away. I looked to Loki, who grab their hand and took them over to his grave. I squatted down and put my hands on the cool concrete. "I'm so sorry I wasn't there when you needed me. And I'm sorry that I have gone out of my way to destroy the life you've worked so hard to build. I love you so much." I whispered and a broken sob escaped my mouth. "Pete." Loki put his hand on my back and I tilted my head to look at him. He nodded his head towards Sage, who had curled themselves up against Ben's grave. I sighed and pushed myself up. "Sage baby, you need to get up." They shook their head and I walked over, picking them up. Their body shook with sobs and I put my forehead against the side of their head. "I know its hard. I miss them too."

Loki drove us back to the compound and I carried Sage inside. They had fallen asleep in my lap on the way there. Nat stood up when I walked in. Her face fell when she saw the tear tracks on both Sage and I's faces. "They fell asleep on the way here." I set Sage on the couch and Nat pulled me into a hug. "Thank you." She whispered and I nodded, a new set of tears building. "Go home. I'll see you on Sunday." She patted my chest and I left, not before stealing a glance at Clint and his son in the kitchen. "I'm sorry Peter." I shook my head. "You would've done less damage if you left me on that rooftop." I snapped and immediately regretted it. I left the compound and Loki pushed himself away from the wall. "I sent the bike back to the house, I'm just going to teleport us back." I nodded, too tired to really care. He wrapped himself around me and the sensation of falling accompanied.

I curled into a ball on the bed while Loki made me a cup of coffee downstairs. All my tears had run out and it felt like I had lost May all over again. I felt lost and I missed her dearly. "Baby." I lifted my head and sat up, accepting the coffee Loki held out to me. "Thank you." I whispered and he smiled softly. He climbed into bed and gently pulled me into him. "Tell me how you feel." I hummed and closed my eyes. "Numb and lost. I thought that once I saw the grave that I would accept she was gone. Sage and I are the last Parker's to walk the earth. I feel like in the last year the only good thing I've done, that has lived up to May's want for me, was meeting you." I shook my head slightly. "I feel like I disgraced her name and her memory. What would she think if she knew I attempted suicide twice? And throwing myself in reckless situations like it didn't matter? The minor alcoholism I developed a couple months back? She would be so disappointed in me."

"You've gone through a lot of heartache and all those things done are the way you've coped. She would've understood and try as you might to blame everything on yourself, not all of it was fault."