Finding my mum

13- spending time with Chloe

While we were waiting for our food we spent the time catching up with what each other had been doing. It felt like ages since Chloe and I had had a proper girly conversation. Don't get me wrong I love spending time with Ashley but there's just some things that you can only have a conversation with another woman about. Once our food arrived, Chloe started asking me how my morning with Ashley had been.

Me: "it was good thanks. Do you know what feels weird?"
Chloe: "what?"
Me: "most days I only see and spend time with one of you but today I've got to spend the morning with Ashley helping him with something and now I get to spend the afternoon with you. Maybe at some point the three of us can spend the day together?"
Chloe: "that's true since one of us is usually in work. I'll talk to Ashley and we'll try to arrange something."

Just as we were about to go shopping, Chloe's phone went off. I started to panic thinking that it was her work but it turned out it was Bex saying when she'd organised my next visit with Janette. As soon as Chloe told me a massive smile appeared on my face then disappeared as I saw Chloe's reaction.

Me: "what's up? I know that look."
Chloe: "it's nothing"
Me: "I thought we all promised to be honest with each other about how we felt no matter how hard it was for the others to hear" as soon as the first part of the sentence left my mouth I felt bad knowing that Ashley and I were lying to her but I didn't want to ruin the surprise and couldn't wait for her reaction.
Chloe: "it's just I saw how happy you were when I told you what Bex said and don't get me wrong I'm glad to see you happy and know you've spent your life looking for her"
Me: "but"
Chloe: "this is going to sound so bad"
I turned to face Chloe
Me: "you're worried that as soon as Bex says that I can live with her that I'm just going to pack all my stuff, go live with her and never speak to you or Ashley ever again?"
Chloe: "you summed it up better than I could."
Me: "don't you know me? You and Ashley have been my absolute rocks my whole life, I couldn't just forget about you even if I wanted to. Which I don't by the way!"
Chloe: "have I ever told you how much you mean to me and what I'd do if I ever lost you?"
Me: "you're not going to loose me. I'll still be around like an annoying person who can't grow up and leave their safety blanket for too long because without my safety blanket I'm not me. How about you spend some time with Janette, getting to know her when we see her, then you can see what she's like."
Chloe: "Ashley and I will always be around to look out for you and if you need anything make sure we're the first people you turn too. But it's meant to be your time with her not me."
Me: "I know that but I don't want you to think I'm picking her over you. Plus I want you both to get on."
Chloe: "I'll give her a chance but only for you because I can see she makes you happy"
Me: "she does. Then if you get on I'm sure we can arrange something so that I can still see you and Ashley as well."
Chloe: "you know I only have your best interests at heart and if she ever hurts you then she'll have me to deal with"
Me: "thanks Chloe, I'm glad we had this conversation"
Chloe: "so am I. Now let's go shopping"