Finding my mum

43- explaining how I feel to Janette

When Amy, Stacey and I got to the dressing room, Janette was already there and surprisingly Karen wasn't with her. Amy and Stacey wanted to know if I wanted them to stay with me but I said I'd be ok and I'd find them afterwards.

Me: "hi"
Janette: "hi"
Me: "what did you say after I'd left?"
Janette: "the truth. Aljaz already knew as I'd told him when we found out that I was pregnant with Noah. Plus he found your birth certificate"
Me: "how did they take it?"
Janette: "most of them were in shock and didn't know what to say"
Me: "why hadn't you told them before?"
Janette: "honestly because I didn't think I'd ever find you again and talking about it upset me. You ok now?"
Me: "yeah. Amy and Stacey managed to calm me down eventually"
Janette: "any idea what caused you to react like that?"
Me: "I've never been good in crowds of people, especially when I don't know them"

Janette didn't know what to say. She didn't realise how bad it would affect me when she just told everyone without  pre warning me first.

I'd waited since I was ten for this time to get to know my real mum but it felt like I knew more about Stacey and Amy then I did Janette. I knew that my next sentence would kill us both but I knew that it was for the best.

Me: "I think it's for the best if I message Ashley to come and get me"
Janette: "where does that leave us?"
Me: "I still want you in my life if you want to be but it feels like everything has moved really fast and my head needs to catch up"
Janette: "if that's what you want"

I went to find Amy and Stacey to tell them. I found them in the dressing room and they knew that something had happened. I messaged Ashley to come and get me and stayed with Amy and Stacey until he got here. They walked me to car where we found Chloe with Ashley. I introduced them to each other even though Ashley had kinda seen Amy before. When all introductions were done, I said another good bye to the girls with them making me promise that I'd stay in touch which of course I would, got in the car and waved to them until I couldn't see them anymore.