Finding my mum

48- fixing things with Janette

Today is either going to go one of two ways; one is it's really awkward between Janette and I or we manage to talk and figure out where to go.

Hopefully we figure things out as I really don't want to loose her.

Janette and I hadn't seen each other since I left the studio. We'd spoken a little bit but no where near as much as we used to. It'd been weird but it had to be done.

As she wasn't rehearsing with the pros I was meeting her at her house. She was with Noah while Aljaz was rehearsing. I hadn't seen Noah in ages and couldn't wait to see him for cuddles.

When I was ready Ashley said he'd drop me off. I said bye to Chloe and got in the car. I felt bad for leaving Chloe but she understood that I had to talk to Janette.

As Ashley and I got closer to Janette's I felt sick but knew that it had to be sorted. We got round the corner and I could see Noah in the window which made me feel better. I said bye to Ashley and promised I'd call if it went wrong, got out of the car and started walking up the steps just as the door opened.

Janette opened the door and Noah reached out his arms so I took him. It was like Noah was my safety blanket. "Hi, someone's happy that his sisters come back" "hi, I've missed him" "he's missed you too. Come in"

It felt weird being back as I hadn't been here since before we'd fallen out. I managed to get my jacket off while holding Noah who refused to let go of me. I followed Janette into the kitchen. "Do you want anything to drink?" "Have you got any juice?" "I do. How's Chloe?" "She's alright thanks. The pregnancy is getting to her a bit" "how far is she now?" "Nearly 16 weeks. She has really bad morning sickness which she can't wait until it passes" "I remember that stage, it really isn't fun" "I can tell. Someone's very cuddly today" "his teeth are coming through really slowly so he's just super cuddly" "bet he's not sleeping much then?" "Nope which means I haven't been especially with Aljaz away rehearsing" "why don't you go have a nap, I'll look after mr cuddly then we can talk" "if your sure" "I wouldn't have suggested it if I wasn't" "thanks"

Janette went to have a nap while I found some toys with Noah and put the tv on. All Noah wanted to do was cuddle which I wasn't complaining about.

When Janette came back downstairs, Noah had fallen asleep and I was watching tv. "You feeling any better?" "Yes thanks. See someone's fallen asleep" "yeah. He looks so peaceful. What times Aljaz home?" "Not for a few hours, why?" "Just wondering, it's been ages since I saw him" "how have you been?" "Alright thanks, been focusing on looking after Chloe" "she's lucky to have you" "more like I'm lucky to have her and Ashley" "have you got to rush back?" "Nope. Why don't I take Noah up to bed then we'll talk?" "Ok"

I took Noah up to his room and stayed with him until he was asleep then went downstairs to find Janette. "What do you want to talk about?" "How things ended the last time I saw you." "I wish I'd have handled it differently, I didn't realise how you would react" "I get it, I didn't think I'd get as upset as I did. I've just never been good with people I don't know, plus things being sprung on me doesn't help" "I'll remember that next time" "thanks" "can I ask you something? You can say no if you want" "sure" "how would you feel about meeting the female pros?" "Would Amy be there?" "Yeah" "when? Don't they hate me?" "Next week. I'm having all the girls over for a girls sleepover, Noah and Aljaz are going to Kevs for the night. They were just in shock when they found out and would like to get to know you. It's entirely up to you though" "ok, don't be surprised if I'm quiet though" "I'll tell Amy that you're coming so she knows and I know that she'll look after you" "what about the others?" "Do you want me to tell them?" "Please, just warn them that I'll probably be quiet" "if that's what you want then that's what will happen" "thanks" "what for?" "For asking me. If it's just the girls then I should be ok" "if it gets to much then tell Amy or I and we'll get you out as soon as we can" "I will and thanks"