Finding my mum

28- heart to heart with Janette

It was the day after Chloe and Ashley's wedding and the day before the big social meeting.

It was also the last visit Janette and I would have before we'd find out if we can meet without needing Bex with us. I hadn't seen her since I'd met Aljaz in the park and Ashley freaked out. We'd decided to go to the shops and get some food.

When Bex and I got to the car park I saw Janette. I went over and instantly knew that something was wrong.

Ava: "what's up? I know that look as Chloe makes it all the time"
Janette: "Noah had a tantrum a few weeks ago as Karen and I had got back from a day out, he hadn't had one since then he decided to have one just as I was about to leave"
Ava: "text Aljaz to see how he is"

Janette quickly messaged him

How's Noah now?

Janette: "let's go do some shopping"
Ava: "he'll be ok"
Janette: "how was yesterday?"
Ava: "it was good thanks. Chloe looked absolutely stunning"
Janette: "how are things between you and Ashley?"
Ava: "alright ish. Not the best but not the worst. I'm trying to be at least civil with him for Chloe's sake"
Janette: "but you don't want to be really"
Ava: "I hate what he did to Chloe last time we were together and what he did before that. I'd never seen Chloe so shaken up before and it took ages for me to get her out of that place. What happens if he does it again when I'm not there?"
Janette: "have you tried talking to him just you and him?"
Ava: "we've all been going to counselling after the park incident, him and Chloe had a few together to talk through things, we've had one family one like two weeks ago but nothing just him and me. When Chloe goes out I avoid him in the house or go with Chloe"

I don't think Janette had realised how much I was going through. Just as Janette was about to reply she heard her phone go off

He's settled and happily playing. Don't worry and enjoy your day with Ava. Tell her we say hi

Janette: "Aljaz and Noah say hi"
Ava: "say hi back from me. Did he say how my monkey is?"
Janette: "he's happily playing"
Ava: "I said he'd be ok"
Janette: "yep"
Ava: "let's go have some fun"

We went for a walk around the shops and catching up on everything that had happened since we were at the park. Janette could tell that I was still thinking about things but she didn't want to push her to talk in case I shut down even more.

When we'd finished with the shops, Janette named a few of her and Aljaz's favourite places to eat and let me pick where we went.

Once we'd ordered we got our drinks and found the table number we'd been given.

I quickly messaged Chloe to see how she is and to update her on how today is going. Janette could tell that I wanted to ask her something but was too scared to.

Janette: "what's up?"
Ava: "it doesn't matter"
Janette: "you can ask me if you want I won't mind"
Ava: "my dad"
Janette: "what about him?"
Ava: "who is he? What happened?"
Janette: "it's not pretty or a happy ending"
Ava: "we don't have to talk about him if it's painful"
Janette: "do you know what I promised myself if I ever found you and got to know you?"
Ava: "you don't have to tell me"
Janette: "that I'd be honest with you and if you asked then I'd tell you the truth"
Ava: "you don't have to, I shouldn't have asked"
Janette: "Well, I was walking home from my friends when I was attacked by this man who came out of no where. A few months later I discovered that I was pregnant with you"
Ava: "what did your family say?"
Janette: "they didn't know. I kept it to myself until I was in labour"

I could tell that Janette had tried so hard not to get upset in front of me but she couldn't stop the tears anymore. I walked round to where she was, crouched down and hugged her until she managed to control them.

Janette: "sorry"
Ava: "there's nothing to be sorry for"
Janette: "what do you wanna do now?"
Ava: "I don't mind"

We went for a walk and to talk more. Then we went back to the cars and said bye and that we'd see each other tomorrow.