Finding my mum

21- finding out Chloe's secret

Chloe: "we need to tell Ava about Eddie"

As soon as I heard that sentence everything fell into place. How something happened before I came, how Chloe thought she was ready to go back to the ward. How Chloe always acted weird around this time of year every year. Why Chloe wanted to talk to Ashley the other night.

Why didn't Ashley want me to know about Eddie is what I wanted to know.

I heard Chloe run off and up the stairs. I knew I had to go find her. I didn't want to see Ashley as he'd broken his promise to look after her for me. I cut through the room we never used unless it was someone's birthday or Christmas to get to the other door to the stairs. As soon as I got there I could hear Chloe crying so I knew she was on the stairs. I opened the door, looked up the stairs and saw her. Her face lit up a bit when she knew it was me. As I was making my way up the stairs we heard the front door slam and instantly knew that Ashley had gone out. I sat next to her and allowed her to cry on my shoulder.

Me: "don't try and speak just nod or shake your head"
Chloe nodded
Me: "is Eddie why you act weird at the same time of year every year?"
Chloe nodded
Me: "is Eddie why you got upset at the hospital?"
Chloe nodded
Me: "did the Eddie situation happen before I moved in?"
Chloe nodded
Me: "is Eddie what you wanted to talk to Ashley about after we got back from wedding dress shopping?"
Chloe nodded
Me: "do you want to talk about Eddie when you can talk?"
Chloe nodded

I sat rubbing Chloe's back and stroking her hair until she could talk. I hated seeing her like this.

Chloe: "Eddie is mine and Ashley's son. When he was born, he got taken to the ward that Noah was on as he was premature. He passed away a few days before we met you for the first time"

Chloe started crying again.

Me: "you're really strong as you've kept this from me for ten years."
Chloe: "it broke me not being able to tell you or talk about him"
Me: "is this one of the reasons why you'd fully fall apart if you ever lost me?"
Chloe: "yeah. I know you're not biologically mine but you'll always be my daughter and I couldn't stand losing both of you"
Me: "can I ask something?"
Chloe: "of course"
Me: "why didn't you ever tell me about him?"
Chloe: "we've never told anyone. We went through it with no family support and Ashley blames himself"
Me: "if you ever want to talk about him then I'm here for you"
Chloe: "thank you! It may have happened ten years ago but it still hurts and I miss him so much"
Me: "I can't imagine what you've been through but we'll get through it together"

Chloe stood up to go and get something.

Me: "what is it?"
Chloe: "a box of his things that I kept"
Me: "did you have a funeral?"
Chloe: "we did"
Me: "when did he die?"
Chloe: "ten years today. That's why I wanted to know if you were with Janette today"
Me: "why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have gone if you'd told me. Ashley said he'd look after you but he didn't did he?"
Chloe: "we spent the day arguing then I had to cool down and just wanted to snuggle up with you all day"
Me: "what do you usually do for his anniversary?"
Chloe: "go to his grave"
Me: "have you been today?"
Chloe: "I couldn't face going"
Me: "do you want to go?"
Chloe: "yeah, but not alone"
Me:" I could come with you. Only if you want me to. I could stay in the car when we get there or I can come down with you. It's entirely up to you"
Chloe: "would you come with me?"
Me: "of course I will. When do you want to go?"
Chloe: "now if it's ok with you?"
Me: "go get your coat and car keys"