Finding my mum

47- talking through Chloe's worries

Chloe and I had decided that we'd have a girls day as we knew that we wouldn't get the opportunity as much when the baby came. Ashley had jobs to do but hadn't been able to as he hadn't wanted to leave Chloe and I was always out.

I hadn't seen Chloe properly since we had gone to see Isla, Kirsty and Lexi but I'd spent most of it with Lexi.

Ashley had already gone out when I got up. Chloe was still in bed so I went to make breakfast and decided to surprise Chloe with breakfast in bed.

As I was bringing up the breakfast, Chloe was still asleep. I quietly knocked on the door and went in. I put the tray down causing her to wake up.

Me: "sorry didn't mean to wake you"
Chloe: "it's ok"
Me: "I brought us up some breakfast"
Chloe: "thanks princess"
Me: "how you feeling?"
Chloe: "alright thanks"
Me: "what do you wanna do today?"
Chloe: "curl up with my princess and watch trashy TV and dvds"
Me: "sounds good to me"

We talked a bit while we were eating. Once we had finished I told Chloe to find something to watch while I took the tray downstairs.

When I came back upstairs, Chloe was watching a pregnancy documentary and I could tell that she'd been crying. I walked around the bed, sat next to her and paused it.

Chloe: "what did you pause it for?"
Me: "so we can talk"
Chloe: "about?"
Me: "I can tell you've been crying"
Chloe: "I'm ok"
Me: "I know you better than you think"
Chloe: "I'm ok. Now can we get back to watching it please?"
Me: "what happened to me being your little princess? Kirsty and Isla told me what you said about not being able to get through the last few months without me and now it feels like you're pushing me away. You watch your documentary if you want, I'll be in my room if you want me"

I gave her the remote, got off the bed and went to my room. I'd never had a go or lost it with her before as we'd always been so close. She must have messaged Ashley because I heard his car come back twenty minutes later and I knew he wasn't due back until this afternoon.  I heard him coming up the stairs and straight into his bedroom looking for Chloe. I felt bad for upsetting her. There was a knock on the door and Ashley came in.

Ashley: "hi"
Me: "hi, you know what happened?"
Ashley: "yep"
Me: "how's Chloe?"
Ashley: "alright"
Me: "I shouldn't have lost it and I feel so bad"
Ashley: "she feels bad as well"
Me: "how long you back for?"
Ashley: "I came back to check on her and calm her down"
Me: "should I go and talk to her?"
Ashley: "she's just fallen asleep so wait until she wakes up"
Me: "ok"
Ashley: "if you need me message me"
Me: "I will"

All of a sudden there was a loud scream coming from Chloe's room. I rushed in and found Chloe shaking with tears streaming down her face. I sat next to her and let her cry on my shoulder.

Me: "do you want me to message Ashley?"
Chloe: "will you stay with me?"
Me: "of course I will. Sorry for having a go earlier"
Chloe: "it's ok. I know you were only looking out for me"
Me: "do you want to talk about it?"
Chloe: "I'm so scared"
Me: "talk to me"
Chloe: "you've got enough going on without listening to me"
Me: "do you want me to message Ashley?"
Chloe: "I just wanna sit here with you"
Me: "it might help to talk about it then we can help you"

I sat there with Chloe's head on my shoulder, stroking her hair until she fell asleep again. Then I messaged Ashley

Chloe will kill me but I'm worried about her. She woke up screaming but won't tell me why. I've managed to get her back to sleep

When Ashley got back, he came upstairs where Chloe was still asleep on my shoulder. Ashley hadn't been back long when she woke up.

Chloe: "hey"
Ashley: "hey. I see you two have made up"
Chloe: "we have. Did you finish all your jobs?"
Ashley: "I did"
Me: "I'm going to leave you two to it"

Chloe started to panic and get upset again.

Chloe: "stay please"
Me: "hey, shh of course I will if you want me to."
Chloe: "I do"

I started stroking her hair again and she calmed down.

Ashley: "what's wrong and don't say nothing because we know you"
Chloe: "what happens if something goes wrong with the pregnancy?"
Me: "what did I say about leaving the stressing to me?"
Chloe: "I tried but it's all I think about"
Me: "it'll be alright but if it's not then Ashley and I will be here by your side no matter what"
Chloe: "love you princess"
Me: "love you too. You hungry?"
Chloe: "a little bit"
Me: "do you want anything to eat?"
Ashley: "how about I make us spaghetti on toast and Ava stays with you?"
Chloe: "yeah"
Me: "if that's what the Queen wants then that's what the Queen will get"
Chloe: "love you both"