rainbow boy - minsung

hesitate

i helped minho haul his 20 pound blanket up the ladder and then handed him the rest of the gifts from below. this morning had started out so well. i could tell today would be good and hopefully i didn't jinx it.

it would be a holiday to remember.

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after we got our presents all put away we decided to dress up all pretty for the day. i helped minho fold up the 20 pound bundle of softness , but he placed in on my bed. at this point my bed was just a storage unit for our suitcases and presents. minhos bed was where we slept now, it just.. gave us more room... thats... thats all. 

"so whats for breakfast?" i asked arranging a nice outfit for me on the bed that i had packed. minho still had my hoodie on when i turned around but he wore nice black jeans now. a little chain from the belt to the pocket. i wish i had his sense of style sometimes. i think mine is too soft. but i mean who turns down pink.

i turned back to my outfit and then switched my own pants. mine were ripped jeans of a light blue shade. guess i see the duality now.

"uh probably some potatoes, bacon, eggs, biscuts. just self serve of whatever you want. and strawberries as always. " minho knew i loved strawberries. especially on cheesecake. would there be cheesecake later? i hope so. it's been too long since i've had cheesecake. minho had been satisfying the sweetness i missed. 

i finished changing. i put on another white t-shirt, it was clean though. i hadn't been sleeping in this one for three days. i put a pink sweater on top like a jacket and turned around to see minho turn around at the same time. we just stared at each other. he stopped buttoning his button up blue shirt about half way in awe. "you look really nice, ji. " 

the boy gave me the brightest smile. his eyes glimmered as they always do like snowflakes in the sun. i didn't reply. i stared. did he not realize that his shirt was half open to his bare skin. luckily not much was showing. "i uh-" then i gulped and looked away. 

"oh. OH. sorry!" minho giggled a bit. why wasn't he nervous? i was flipping out all red . "you ok there, scardy squirrel? its not worth the reaction. " he laughed to me, reaching out a hand to help me up from hiding my face. "i mean it's not like you wouldn't see eventually."

woah wait what. i- i wouldn't see eventually? "i-" i mean i was going to ask a question but minhos mouth silenced me and i just closed my eyes. "don't speak. lets get ready for brunch." he fixed my collar and combed back my long hair with his fingers. he looked so handsome. 

our rings were on too. and his necklace. i was so glad he likes it. those cats mean the world to him. and he meant the world to me. i want to be his boyfriend. and more. and forever. but my everything called me to interrupt the moment. "oh it's emma. i gotta take this."

minho looked a bit upset . "oh alright. I'll meet you downstairs." he climbed down. i answered.

"hey emma."

"merry christmas, dumb bitch. i wuv you." she practically yelled over the phone.

"merry christmas to you too? i guess? how have you been?" i asked her. she replied she was happy and got some new art supplies for christmas as well as an ipad simply for her drawings. but she also wrote and danced too like most of us. 
"what about you?" she asked.

"i literally got engaged. we got promise rings and i got his hoodie too." i sounded a bit joyful. too joyful for emmas reply. 

"ji... don't you ever worry about minho? and how he truly feels about all of this? if he ever found out he'd be shattered. I think we should plan to break up after break. i'll make it an understandable excuse and chris won't be mad-"

"emma no." i firmly replied. it was silent. there was a dispute now. "emma i- i can't let chris down." i sounded selfish... i didn't like how i sounded but that was the truth. well... i mean. i was doing it for me mostly but. still.

"i'm gonna invite you over after break. for a sleepover. we need to talk jisung. go get minho now. hes probably hurt that you're talking to me." and she hung up. her tone was quiet but serious. i was honestly anxious and scared now. did she hate me?

i sighed and put my phone down to head down for breakfast. " ah there you are jisung! you look so handsome." minhos mother greeted me while pinching my cheeks like mothers do. her son gave me a smirk from the otherside of the kitchen island. minho was already scooping his dish so i dove right in. "this looks great, mom, thanks." minho added. i agreed. 

i had a good amount of everything . and as much as minhos mother insisted, i was too full to back for seconds. after we finished up we helped clean the kitchen for about 20 minutes. the time was 1:04pm by now. "alright boys. I'm gonna get the turkey in the oven and then run some errands. just make sure the cats are alright. " 

about an hour had past and minho and i sat alone upstairs. but he easily became hesitant when i would move closer to him. " you ok?" i would ask. 

he was quiet but forced a smile to reply. "yea im great! uh.. how was emma?" the enthusiasm he tried to portray was easily faked. 

the pain that emma spoke of had already gotten to minho but i just couldn't come to grips with telling him it was a lie. he was too pretty for this. and this was not the time of the year to do this. 

"nevermind her. its just us right now." i took his hands and held them with mine. his shining eyes looked up to me with confusion. i shared a gentle kiss to his forehead and he smiled. minho seemed to gather his breath and looked me in the eyes.

"jisung . " he began. he could say anything at this point. ' i hate you' or 'kiss me again' or ' can we watch the cats now?' but it came out as .

"i love you." minho said in the most sincerest and true tone i had heard. i was in awe. we hadn't said that we loved each other yet. not truly or sincere like this though. i had to keep faking this whole thing though so i turned away as if blushed up. i noticed the stocking stuffers on my bed. 

"hey. lets play a game to kill some time."