rainbow boy - minsung

chocolate cake

taking his hands out of his pocket he greeted me with a simple nod before holding his own hands in front of him. "h-hi jisung."

i looked to his eyes and back to the ground with a twisted knot in my stomach.

"hi hyunjin..."
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it was rather quiet. the wind was the only reason we broke silence as it ran through our jackets strong and cold.

"um. let's head inside." hyunjin stated, making his entrance to the door. he held it open for me to grab and we made our spot at the table down the isle in the back.

i couldn't help but admire the dessert display case on the way in. cookies and cakes of all sorts. maybe i could bring one home for minho tonight.

placing our orders we started with water, but i of course craved some stimulant like hot chocolate to wake my aching bones. i sound like an old man dont i?

both of us stared at the table and twirled our fingers whilst our minds ran thoughts . i could tell hyunjin had a lot on his mind, too. but what he invited me out for i have no clue.

our drinks arrived quickly, breaking the silence as we thanked the waitress . and shockingly i was the first to speak up, although hyunjin was noticeably startled when i spoke.

"so....are you and emma a thing now?" i shyly asked, my tone low and kept to myself. i was hesitant to ask.... but curious, too.

"oh. yeah..." hyunjin replied short and swift. he never made eye contact with me, just stared at the table until his eyes clinched tightly shut as he tried to hide tears.

"sorry.. i'm just. i-" hyunjin started to get worse and cry more into his hands, his sleeve covered in damp tears but only a soft cry.

"i wanted to... apologize. for being an absolutly disrespectful human toward you. i - i was so ignorant and just did it out of selfishness of my anger. and i robbed you of coming out and probably of your possible first boyfriend. and i realize now that emma discussed it with me that ... i fucked things up for you. i don't expect an apology but just know i regret it. i really really regret it."

so that's why i was here...

my mouth made a noticeable 'oh' shape and then closed as i looked down. hyunjin shuffled around a bit as if standing from the table. "i should just goz here's the money to pay-"

"no stay. i ... i forgive you." i said. i did think hyunjin fucked up my life but as mentioned before i couldn't come to grips with hating him like i couldn't come to grips with hating minho or losing feelings.

and i mean if i ended up dating one; why not repair the relationship with the other. he sat back down before me.

"i'm a bit upset at my ruined opportunities but... i just can't hate anyone for some reason. i guess i've been too focused on aiming hate at myself for hurting everyone than i was at you for outing me. " i explained.

i really did have an insane amount of hatred for myself that i didn't have any to spare for other people. but now that i think about it... what if i did hate hyunjin?

would i have made it obvious? or kept it inside? both would have been painful... but it was truly painful to hate myself. i always thought i was a sweet person who made people laugh but recently so many people just called me selfish and now i see why. because i was.

but so was hyunjin. did he hate himself, too? probably not. he had been the opposite and instead of hating himself would distribute it to others. or well, just me.

"and you didn't ruin my chance with my first boyfriend. minho and i are dating." i slowly said the last sentence out of nervousness, unsure if hyunjin would be happy with that or not.

but i mean if you think about it, emma and i along with hyunjin and minho were on the same tier of arguments here so if one couple could forgive and forget, so could the other.

hyunjin had a noticeable little giggle, it was quiet and soft though. i didn't know why he was laughing though? at a moment like this?

"i noticed. " he smiled with his eye brows narrowed backwards in a shy look. his hand lifted and pointed to my neck, one of minhos marks showing out.

"shit ! uh... uh. you saw nothing!" i gay panicked, repositioning the hood so they were hidden again.

hyunjin couldn't help but laugh, but he kept it silent so no body would stare.

"but i really am sorry, jisung. you're a quick one to apologize so if you ever realize that you're still mad or did this out of pressure or pity then just... call me." hyunjin explained to me, a soft smile upon his face to match the soft black mullet resting upon his neck.

"i don't think i felt pressured to do this. i was just nervous you would... you know. hurt me again." i stated. i mean every time i've met hyunjin somewhere he's beaten me up besides lunch so i thought i would literally be jumped this
time.

"i apologize for that too... i was using you as a punching bag to get my anger out from home. but i'm out of there for good so . ill be taking chris's room when he leaves for college, too. " he spoke.

"that's really great-" my phone buzzed before i could respond. 'minho ❤️' popped up on my screen three times in a row, hyunjin noticing the name and speaking up about it .

"you should go back to him. it's valentine's day after all. i have plans with emma tonight, too. i bought her this big teddy bear and some roses and threw in a hoodie, too. we're gonna have a little movie night. i can't wait to spend time with her... she's really great." hyunjin rambled about his girlfriend.

the true love between those two made me wish for a relationship, until i remembered that i had the best boy in the world as my own. and i'd for sure bring him the best gifts ever.

"you two should come over to watch the movie too. make it a double date. ill ask chris. but until then i'll let you head out. " hyunjin told me.

and so i did. picking up a delicious chocolate cake on the way out just for minho tonight . hopefully he'd love it as much as i loved him.

cause today was all about love. and i loved minho .