rainbow boy - minsung

i meant it

minho leaned his head on my shoulder and grabbed my arm, giving it a nice hug to warm himself and possibly me.

"better?" he asked

"yea. better."
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the night was calm for a moment until a question sparked conversation between us. "how's emma doing?"

my eyes lit up at the idea, completely forgetting it in the moment. i technically was dating her... the whole grade and a few seniors could tell. i should probably call her tonight....

"i haven't texted her since we left. i bet she's alright though, i'll call her tonight to check in with chris too. "

"sounds good. do you wish she was here right now?" he moved a slight bit closer and placed his chin a top my shoulder. i leaned my head on top of his.

the moment got quiet for a minute, i guess it was my turn to make a conversation . do i mention the cold? the moment? anything.

no instead my dumbass makes a move. "you warm enough?" i ask, wrapping my one arm around him. he was soft and calm. hopefully feeling warm now. his eyes close with a nod saying yes. the night brought silence. a silence of leaves bustling from below as they swept over the snow . it was soft.

his hair was soft against my cheek. and his smell was like a soft sheet set that had just been washed. he was heavier against me, signally he was tired. but he started to sniff and the silence ended. "are you started to get cold..?" i asked silently.

no reply. my palm lifted his chin lightly and i saw his tears well cold against his cheek. they almost froze to ice. "hey hey..."

"jisung im sorry." minho cried softly in a whisper. he moved away slightly . out of my arms, out of my reach, and away from my touch...

he took a moment to gather himself before giving his side of this story. "i don't want you to have to do this. i don't want to manipulate you . you have a fucking girlfriends and i'm out here as if we were together. and it'll never happen." minho's voice raised slightly to show his expression. his small cry was already over. the boy was serious about this.

"no minho i-"

"no jisung it's fine..." he interrupted me. "i've been in love like this with you for a while. i shouldve showed it before hand but i just didn't. and i'm so happy with you and emma. she'll give you all i couldn't. and more. i am kind of shocked i never had a crush on her myself. she's everyone's perfect girl. i can be like your brother if you want or maybe just friends . i don't wanna pressure you and i just . i hope you don't think you have to hold me off while your in this relationship. you don't have to hug me or keep me warm . you don't have to cuddle or lay with me. and i can tell you'll never kiss me. only in my drea-"

i swung beside him quickly and pulled him closer. his face was but centimeters away from mine. his eyes . i could see each detail. they still welled up a little. his cheeks. soft and pink from the cold. everything went quiet. it was just us. the only sound was the snows silence and the winds soft whispers.

"i-" minho began. i found myself shutting him up quickly. after his quick ramble i didn't want to hear him speak anymore shit. never would i use him for affection . never would i lie to him. and never would i think he was a terrible person to date. i wouldn't do any of those negative things he states.

i don't even think i realized what i did until a tang of warm vanilla chapstick hit my lips. and it wasn't mine. i took the moment in for a second before i moved away from minho. my eyes slowly opened as his did too. we just looked at each other with confusion but love. he was rosie pink and his eyes sparkled .

it was nothing but silence stares until minho spoke up. "l-let's go inside." i helped him off his roof and on to the ground again. he walked ahead of me and there was utter silence.

before he could open the door to enter the cabin again i stopped him. "minho." i hollered rather loudly to catch his attention. he turned around and breathed out a silver mist with his hot breath against the cold wind.

with a certain and stern voice i admitted it to that. i admitted that. that...

"i meant it."