rainbow boy - minsung

state of mind

i think we're missing someone. hold on. i recounted. someone was missing. i already subtracted jeongin and woojin since the baby left for america and woojin switched classes this year for half the year.
felix spoke up to help me out though.

"hey guys. have you seen hyunjin today?"
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everyone looked around for a moment and took the observation i had already noticed. his seat next to chris was empty and alone.

"i havent. " changbin stated.

"was he in dance today, minho?" seungmin asked.

"we have it different periods, but he wasn't in english either. maybe he's just absent today." minho replied.

this was... strange. the first day back of my return and another incident with hyunjin already? maybe he was just late to school or was sick today.... hopefully.

"i'll text him." seungmin offered calmly. he took his phone out to the table and texted his contact.  we all waited the rest of the period for a reply. nothing.

"hm. he must be home then." minho suggested. "didn't you guys hang out during break while i was away?" he asked.

chris nodded. several times , actually. they hung at here and there and everywhere. i felt a little twist in my stomach and stood to excuse myself from the table and to the hallway for a second.

i leaned against the lockers. the same one where hyunjin had beat me up. but he wouldn't attack me now, i wasn't vulnerable when i realized emma had come after me shortly later.

"hey. what's... going on?" she asked.
"did something happen with you and hyunjin?" she asked me .

do i tell her... no. i- i won't. she'd cut us off immediately and chris would be pissed and minho would be confused and everything in between.

"no it's just. not like him." i had known hyunjin for a while now. since sixth grade. although he was a junior ahead of us we had classes and lunch together.

"i'll ring him later. i'm sure he'll answer me." emma suggested. "what, do you mean he'll answer you for sure?" i asked confused.

"i... i forgot to tell you didn't i..." emma stated. whatever it was obviously she did forget to tell me because uh, i was clueless as to anything she could be referring to.

"yes... what- happened?" i hesitated to ask.

"hyunjin confessed to me over break. because i'm with you now he gave up. and hes been different ever since. he seems more volatile and his mood swings very frequently . almost like a state of mind he hasn't been in before. " emmas look was so concerned as she stared down the hall, looking at nothing and focusing only on the words she spoke.

"jisung are you sure you know nothing? he hasn't done or said anything to you?" the smaller girl asked, her little hands grabbing mine. "im sure, emma. i mean i've been away all break so-"

the bell cut our conversation off short. we had separate classes this period and so headed toward our table to regain our stuff and head out.

"hey." emma called out one more time. i looked back to her. "friday night. 6. be there, cause chris is expecting you. wouldn't want him upset now would we." but she turned and walked toward her class before i could reply that i'd be there. it would be a week before the dance so we could discuss everything we had to.

and there was a lot to discuss. who would emma go with? was minho going to ask me? would hyunjin ask emma? what about chris? i honestly was worried a bit about felix, too. he seems upset about the whole dating conversations going around.

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a few periods had passed and before i headed home i approached the shy aussie boy at his locker. "hey, lix." i spoke softly not to frighten him.

"hey, ji. uh what can i do for you?" he was such a gentle yet intimidating person normally. his deep voice could easily fool you from his soft and lovable personality. what a bottom. oh wait i- im a- ANYWAYS.

"wanna hang out today? we can go back to my place and cook or chat for a bit? you seemed a bit down today and i just wanted to hang out with you for a bit. " i smiled while asking. i hadn't had a day with just felix in a while. if ever. but i was rather excited.

"r-really? emma won't be mad?" he asked me in a quiet tone, his voice pitch seeming to get softer and less deep but the accent still there. "why would she be mad? of course!"

i think that was the happiest i've seen felix in a while since his birthday party. which , i will admit, was fun.

felix quickly gathered his books and i gathered mine into my bag and we walked to my place.

"so. i heard you have a rather new interest in cooking lately. what's up with that?" i asked.

all of felixs lunches had been hot and homemade meals lately that he had made for dinner the night before. i guess he was picking something up.

"oh! i don't know actually. i've been making lots of yummy pasta and shrimp and even steaks. i'm really proud of myself honestly. it's helping me open up to new things .

he had always kept to himself, but high school was changing that a lot. he was less shy and had a set personality now. and sometimes even felix was a total crackhead too.

"well i bet i have whatever you want at home and you could teach me how to cook and you can stay for dinner." my mind suggested to him through words.

he jumped up and down as we arrived to my house. i turned open the lock and stepped inside. "you've been here before right?" i asked.

he nodded. but explained it had been a while. "just throw the bags wherever and look around the kitchen. i'm gonna tell kat you're over.

quickly i jogged upstairs for a minute or two and informed my sister of the visitor,  but quickly came back down to a bunch of ingredients spread on the island and felix digging for a pot or pan or tray. something metal that was clinging and clanging.

"how about ramen? we could even make noodles from scratch!" felix exclaimed joyfully. ramen sounded amazing right now. i happily agreed and my lesson began.