rainbow boy - minsung

roses

i went on to the couch and sat down by emma. she come over to me and wrapped herself around my waist . her tiny hands held each other and i hugged her back. but it wasn't a hug. she didn't let go. she had fallen sound asleep holding me. and ill admit, she was cute.

i didn't bother to move and just held her back til we had both passed out on the basement couch. exhausted from a talk about us. about our friends. about reality.
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i felt as if i slept through the weekend. as if i slept through monday. here's a short summary of the weekend.

we finished our sleepover and i received tons of emma hugs. she gives the most amazing and pure hugs ever. she makes me feel so safe and comfortable. it's like being reassured all over again that everything is going to be ok. especially when you need a reminder you're doing alright.

i needed that reminder for quite some time now. just a pat on the back and a whisper saying "thank you" to her. and then i left that day.

sunday wasnt that exciting. i just finished up school work and called felix to talk. he bought his suit for the dance with changbin that day. emma went dress shopping too and refused to tell me what the dress was like.

mine wasn't really a suit. rather a blazer with a white shirt and nice black pants and shoes. a simple fit for the evening that would hopefully pass by quickly.

now it was monday. and i shockingly have no news from lunch. but today our ticket money was due and emma and i had made the choice that we'd just go together. but we would be permitted to leave each other to hang out with friends as everyone in the group would be going... including hyunjin actually .

i didn't think he'd go, and he didn't ask emma? i mean at least that's what i thought.

emma and i made our way to an upstairs health room to purchase our tickets, making our way down the longest hallway in the school. it lead from one side of the building to the other and allowed students to switch through the three attached parts of our school.

"so why can't i know about your dress? please!" i laughed to her. "nope. nah ah." emma insisted. i mean why couldn't i know!

it wasn't like she was my bride and we had to stay separate. she saw my fit before i even bought it! and she even approved .

"seriously ... you can't leave me on a cliff hanger like this emma." i was really interested in it! i mean if she's gonna lead me on like this then i'm obviously going to follow the temptation. i mean it couldn't have been that insane , she wouldn't go way out.

we were so focused on each other and our conversation that we had almost missed hyunjin running into us from the other direction.

"hyunjin! hey! what's up?" emma said all cheerful and happy from the fun chats we had previously been having. the boy seemed nervous. he was a bit shaken but it wasn't obvious and he easily stopped it.

"hey." his eyes went to emma. "can i talk to you for a second.... alone?" hyunjin looked over to me when he said 'alone' as if asking me to leave. but it wasn't his normal soft gaze. his eyes were softer like puppy eyes but he wasn't upset. he was thinking of either something positive or exciting or nervous. i couldn't read him at the moment.

"oh , yea of course." i agreed. i walked around the corner to leave him with emma but my curious mind couldn't help but watch and listen from a distance... here is what i observed.

they began to talk.

"is everything alright, hyunjin?" emma asked softly. hyunjin took a deep breath for a minute. he calmed himself and lifted his hand. he had a small little thing of roses, about five tiny ones in a bouquet .

"i don't know if you have someone or are going with just friends , but i just. i really like you emma and that's not gonna change anytime soon. and i'm glad you feel honored by it but i haven't gotten a clear response. and so i thought i'd ask like this. "

was he... was he asking her out? or to date? like how would that work when emma doesn't know that hyunjin is aware this is all fake.

emma's eyes . the green was like a emerald as they filled with many emotions. things like love and confusion . a little bit of doubt, too. i mean, how could she respond to this? she was going with me already .

the paper work was due now and we only had a short amount of time left before we wouldn't be able to get our tickets anymore. come on emma hurry up already please...

emma thought for a moment. i could tell her mind had been tracing the idea of accepting the offer to go with the human she had been adoring so much for a while now. but as one hand reached to stroke soft rose petals, the other held a piece of paper.

in pen, next to the 'escort' line, was written " han jisung." and on mine her first and last name, as well. and the reason they made escorts and dates write names was to avoid situations where people would be considered liars or cheaters. i had been both, but not in the context in which they meant.

"i don't want to make you pressured but i just think you're an amazing girl and just so kind and beautiful. it would mean the world to me. but please don't think i'm begging you and making you uncomfortable." hyunjin added to the explanation.

"but would you go to the dance with me...?" he finally let out.

but as emma was about to agree,
she couldn't.

her eyes saw my name permanently written on the permission slip with a check on it.

"h-hyunjin i have jisung a name written as an escort already... but i'd be glad to hang out with you there for the night. and i'm so sorry, i'm really really sorry. i don't want you to feel guilty or embarrassed... please. that's the last thing i want. " emma took his hand and hyunjin noticeably sagged his shoulders down lower into a sulking and sad position.

"i... i understand. don't worry about me." his hand easily slipped away from her small fingers and he walked away with the roses.

emma was broken. and so was the boy she loved, who's roses he had thrown in the trash. he was bringing his hand up to his eyes as well signaling tears from a distance.

emma choked up but didn't let any tears shed. she regained herself and walked past me.
"let's go jisung."