rainbow boy - minsung

soy sauce

quickly i jogged upstairs for a minute or two and informed my sister of the visitor, but quickly came back down to a bunch of ingredients spread on the island and felix digging for a pot or pan or tray. something metal that was clinging and clanging.

"how about ramen? we could even make noodles from scratch!" felix exclaimed joyfully. ramen sounded amazing right now. i happily agreed and my lesson began.

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a pot of water was placed on the stove to begin a broth while felix grabbed eggs and flour for simple noodle dough. "alright. could you start kneading that? im gonna start with the broth. ingredients ." felix was quick on his feet as he stumbled around the kitchen making quick work with his talent. 

one moment he was in a cabinet and the next he was at the stove. i took the solid pasta dough out on the counter. felix gave the chefs kiss to the air and a tiny clap as if i did well making it. i began to roll it out flat against the counter til it was in a thin sheet. felix was listing the spices in the ramen. 

"lets see. pork belly. water, of course. brown sugar. soy sauce. soy sauce?...

OH. SOY SAUCE. SOY SAUCE SOY SAUCE SOY SAUCE. JISUNG."

i got spooked at the call of my name and turned around. "what, lix."

"WHERE IS YOUR SOY SAUCE?" the ginger-tan haired boy panicked to me. 

"oh. open a new one. it's in the pantry. " i suggested to him. but i knew we had it. 

felix sighed in relief when he found the bottle of cooking soy sauce. he poured a decent amount into the boiling pot followed by some green onions and garlic. it began to give the air such a perfect aroma. 

he placed the lid on the giant pot. 

"all done the noodles?" he asked approaching my side and leaning over my shoulder like a child would peak on to your phone to see if you have games. he watched as i thinly slid a pizza cutter across the dry dough to make noodle strips. the noodles were a bit long but ramen is meant to slurped and enjoy proudly in our heritage. 

" let the pot boil a bit longer and then we can add the noodles and start the eggs." felix wiped his forehead of sweat from rushing around for a while now and sat on a kitchen stool. i sat beside him. 

"thanks for letting me come over, ji. i've had a lot on my mind lately and it means a lot to me." he smiled, the shy personality returning. "anytime, felix. is there anything you wanna talk about?" i made sure i remained calm and didn't act eager to approach so that felix knew i could be trusted. it took him a bit to speak. 

"um... i." he shrugged up a bit. "i want to but i'll be slow getting it out. " he took a few deep breaths and sat up straight to look at me to begin a conversation. "i don't want you to think i'm copying anyone though ."

"do you have a crush? or is it the cooking? are you upset? scared? i don't wanna ask too many questions i'm sorry, lix.." i explained . trying not to run my words too fast i paused the sentence to await a reply. 

he twittled with his fingers for a minute there and thought. "if i tell you, i think i'll wanna tell everyone. so if i tell you can you help me out?" 

i smiled to let him know i'd be more than happy to help. he smiled back and seemed a bit excited to talk with me. "thanks, han." he exclaimed with such appreciation. i was glad to help felix open up. 

"i don't want you to think this is something stupid or just me playing off a recent situation with a different version but i think i kind of like guys, jisung. i've been questioning whether or not i had a crush on someone for a bit of time now." felix started to seem rather proud of himself and excited to share his news now. he felt like he had something special about him and he did. and i was proud of him. guess we're all just a bunch of confused homosexuals aren't we. 

"aww, lix that's amazing! i'm really proud of you. " i praised to him, my smile wouldn't go away knowing that felix was doing good like this . "would you say you're bi, gay, pan? is there a way you want to present yourself?" 

"there isn't exactly one certain way. i just think i like boys. i'm figuring it out myself still but i just. " he got all shy and quiet but in a happy way as if in love. "i think i kind of like changbin..? i don't know ji he's just got that sarcastic humor and precious smile and just intimidates me every time we're near each other. but i guess you guys saw that coming didn't you." this was adorable ! i couldn't believe felix was into someone with an aesthetic like changbin. 

felix was definitely someone to be a softy and precious while changbin would totally intimidate anyone with a resting bitch stare if he accidentally gazed off. i think they'd balance each other out well. 

"maybe you could go to the dance together..?" i suggested. 

" i don't know. i mean, i'd love to but i don't think he's into guys . i mean i'll let him know i like him probably and even if he doesn't show interest i'm just coming to grips that this is me and it won't change. " felix proudly stated to me. 

as our conversation wrapped up the cooking was complete. two pairs of reusable chopsticks and nice ramen bowls had been set out and felix decorated the ramen perfectly with a slice of pork, a soft boiled egg, some green onion, and little fish cakes we had laying around to snack on. 

"dinner is served."