rainbow boy - minsung

before you go

this is the first time i mention this officially in the story but this fanfic actually has a little theme song that i picked to name the chapter after !

before you go - lewis capaldi
i suggest you run the story so far through your head if you chose to listen and you'll get to feel a bit more of the characters emotions. although the part of the song i'm at right now is before the second chorus starts so stop there if you wanna match it up.

on to the chapter !!
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"i- i think you're the bestestest boyfriend. i- i wuv you . wuv-love. love you." he giggled .

"i'm not your boyfriend, silly. now let's get some rest." luckily minho calmed down. and we were able to sleep a peaceful night that day.
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we slept many more peaceful nights. all the way up until sunday when we had to return to get home. it was around the afternoon.

we just ate some quick sandwiches for lunch before packing up our things. i folded my clothes into perfect squares and placed them in fitting spots as well as folding my blanket and making the bed.

"thanks again, minho. i really enjoyed this week." i smiled over to the boy who was making the bed of his own. "i enjoyed it to. but, ji listen".

i thought i was pretty much in trouble. i don't think i technically was but, minho did make some points.

"i don't know what went on this week or two but .. um. " he exhaled. "keep it between us. i guess we were both just caught up in the moments and the holiday spirit we let it get to us. i mean. i still like you jisung but don't think you had to kiss me and cuddle me while i'm drunk in order to keep me happy. cause i can tell you didn't genuinely mean them." he explained. "i mean maybe i don't like you anymore after this weekend. just because i realized that it won't happen. but i still love you for some reason."

i was a bit in shock. i couldn't find a way to reply. minho didn't like me anymore after all of this... but. didn't i make him happy? and loved? but then how could he love me without liking me? it all made no sense. "remember minho. i love you. i love you, as well as emma. im allowed to love more than one person. i love kat, i love your mom, i love emma, i love you, and possibly more. i genuinely and truly love you . i wouldn't lie." i replied.

but the sad truth is yea, i would lie. i had been. here's what i've lied about so far. i lied about dating emma because i was embarrassed of being gay . i lied about not liking him back. i lied about dating emma again in terms of saving myself from being yelled at by chris. i lied about truly loving him. i could only love emma, right? cause that's how it worked. and i lied about my honesty. i said i wouldn't lie but i am and always have been.

truth is i'd be embarrassed to date minho sometimes. like as much as i would date him and love to marry him and all, this whole fake relationship thing has gotten to my head and put me in a completely different state of mind. it was like hurting minho was my way of showing love and protecting him but i don't know. hopefully the ride home would be easy.

the ride was kinda easy. to begin with. we began by loading the car and the cats and double checking everything was packed. minhos mom drove off saying "off we go!" and "on our way!" as minho and i sat in the back together. for minhos mom we acted ok but we both had so much to think about that we were almost completely silent the ride home.

that worried me a bit as normally we were chaotic in the car . minho was leaning against his windows with his eyes shut and headphones in. he didn't do this when he was tired but when his thoughts took over. you'd have to snap him out of it.

i picked up my phone. i was listening to 'before you go' by lewis capaldi. a lot of the lyric matching recent life scenarios. things like realizing our friends were struggling or asking for help. but hopefully no body would actually 'go' in the end.

i punched in my password and went to text minho. i sent him some silly pictures we took this weekend one by one. i peaked over to watch him pick up his phone. he smiled a bit but put it back down.

another picture. another smile. another happy moment. i continued for a few minutes until he looked over to me. "fine. you win." he spoke softly. his mother at this point was jamming out to whatever the radio song was so we just laughed.

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before you knew it we were home. we pulled into minhos driveway soon enough. it was a bit late now. kat would be home shortly too so i quickly helped minho unpack everything up to his room and made my thank you's and good byes.

finally i got to my house after the longest two weeks of my life. unfortunately school was back tomorrow and i wasn't ready. at least there was no assignments over the break. if there was that'd be hell.

but i had the last few weeks of memories to keep me going ~