rainbow boy - minsung

talk about us

"chris. this. uh. eh heh." emma smiled to allow her brother to believe she was happy with the situation going on. we took our seats across from each other as chris stood on the other side of the room. classical music ringing through the house stereo made this even stupider.

"bone apple tit." chris purposly said.

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i honestly found the situation humorous. but it was a nice set up. the table cloth was someones bed sheet and the seats were fold-able seats. they were covered in... more sheets. sheets this and sheets that and holy sheet wait a damn minute.

"chris this is actually pretty good." i said scooping a mouthful of pasta into my mouth. just like my ramen i couldn't stop piling into my mouth. maybe i really was a tramp.

"now i purposely did an uneven amount of meatballs and saved the longest piece of pasta so pucker up, bitches." chris explained.

"ok well i assume that last meatball is yours emma so." i picked it up with the serving utensils and started to head toward her plate. "no thank you. i'm full." she explained.

"emma take the damn meat ball ." chris said to his younger sister raising his eyebrows. he just wanted to mess with us. emma put it on her plate but it easily snuck its way into the trash . unfortunate .

and no. we refused to create the spaghetti kiss. we told chris 'oh that's a personal thing' and other excuses just so we could simply find out way downstairs.

we made out our sleeping arrangement. emma of course got the couch and i was on the floor . i mean the rug was soft and she had these little folding mattresses that we would use. mine was a weird zebra print and run down. but it worked.

we played mario kart and ate tons of snacks and played countless boring board games. but as it began to quiet emma turned her head from staring at the ceiling to staring at me. "hey." she said softly to grab my attention. i looked up.

"what happened with minho over break? " i thought she would be asking in a teasing manor as if 'ooh jisung you and your boyfriend hit it off on break' but she was rather focused. she truly did want to know what had gone on during my break.

"oh." i sat up straight, preparing for the conversation we were about to have. i knew the questions she would ask and the words she wanted me to speak, but i struggled to let it out. i just waited for another conversation starter from her before attempting to deliver any answers.

"how many times did you kiss him...?" she whispered. the memories flooded my mind. thinking of minho was like a soft wave on the shore that made my heart crash. and at this moment i seemed to be drowning in them.

i counted. the roof. the dance. a few minutes before bed. the bathroom floor. twice christmas morning. i couldn't even think of how many times. this was definitely more than i thought though .... oh god.

"emma to be honest... i can't even remember or count how many times. but it was more than we should have." i explained. the weight of the world was returned to my back and i didn't know how to get it off of my shoulders.

the moment was filled with an awkward silence (a/n: this was an unintentional reference i promise) and emma just looked at her fingers and thought.

"i don't break promises, jisung." the girl began. "i never have and never will." she whispered another sentence under her breath, saying that she hopes she never breaks a promise. "i won't break the promise i gave you because i understand where you're coming from. but jisung when this is over, there's gonna be some debt you have to repay."

"you'll help me right...?" i asked. emma sighed and looked her green gaze into my eyes to continue.
"i... i can't. the guilt and the pain that i'll feel is enough to deal with. i don't even want to keep dating but-" her sentence cut short. you could tell she had a headache with the amount of slight movements her head made in pain.

"look jisung this is off topic but i really like hyunjin... i really do. and do you know how hard it was for me to see him in pain this week. almost as painful as when you came out to me. almost as painful as you were feeling. i'm watching the person i adore suffer. i'm watching my brother believe the emotions i display. i'm watching my best friend walk on lies." emmas tear welled up a little bit. but nothing fell out of her eyes.

"that's what i'm doing for you . and in return i don't want to deal with the consequences as i'm already dealing with them. and jisung i love you , mate. but i can't manage this much longer. so if you don't do something by the night of the dance, i'll have to tell everyone the day after. and we can make it a break up."

emma was just as hurt as minho. if not more. i thought the weight i was feeling was heavy but i can't imagine what she was carrying on the spine of her own. i felt a pain in my chest. i didn't like how i had become. i felt like a monster to be honest.

and now after seeing tons of my friends in pain i didn't want to deal with this much longer. "alright. if i dont do anything about this than-" i sighed and gained confidence. "you can tell them. and we'll break up."

i went on to the couch and sat down by emma. she come over to me and wrapped herself around my waist . her tiny hands held each other and i hugged her back. but it wasn't a hug. she didn't let go. she had fallen sound asleep holding me. and ill admit, she was cute.

i didn't bother to move and just held her back til we had both passed out on the basement couch. exhausted from a talk about us. about our friends. about reality.