rainbow boy - minsung

no one

That's when the stomach ache came back to me. I wasn't aware she knew what her older brother had asked of me. But I assume she was told I had to be there for her.

"I'm not gonna tell him anything."
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"If he found out i didn't like you he'd kill me. I'd never be able to hang with you again. We have to do something." I stated.

Emma looked like she was hesitating to say something, but I think I already said enough so I wasn't gonna bother to ask her anything.

"Jisung?" She began. I felt like something was coming but i don't know what. She had removed her head from my shoulder to look me in the eyes. But i was stupid and just stared at the floor the whole time.

There was a moment of silence. It felt awkward. And scary. I could hear small birds on the tree between Minho's house and mine singing. I guess it made it calm cause I wasn't that tense anymore.

"I've been feeling different, emma..." I stated, immediately regretting it. I was gonna start to mention the fuzzies with Minho. Because she deserved to know. She was so innocent in this situation.

"What do you mean..? What type of different?" She asked concerned and curious at the same time. I watched her shift over away from me a bit so she could have better eye contact. "Ji you've been acting a bit strange lately, I've noticed. But what's been causing it I'm not sure." She explained.

She'd always catch on to things like this. When we were little she'd know I was sad and sit with me. When we were in elementary school she could tell when i was anxious for a test. And through middle school she'd support me through my hard times. She'd always been there for me. I wasn't letting her down now.

"There's a person..." I started. Damn it why did I have to say that. She'd obviously know who it was.

I had come to a conclusion recently but I didn't know how to explain. A few pieces of a puzzle that had recently confused me were making sense now.

The warmth Minho gave me, being uninterested in a girl, how I've been blushing embarrassed whenever someone mentioned being gay or bi. I couldn't understand why. I couldn't at all.

Suddenly with her sitting next to me I did. And i was heavy and weak to say it. I started to cry. Just like Minho did we he told us he was bi...

I started to shake and I felt salty tears against my cheeks. they came down heavy. I wasn't ok. I was scared.... as if there was a bullet to my head and if I said the wrong thing it would shoot.

"Jisung no..." Emma moved back over to me right away. Her arms wrapped around my neck and her forehead pressed against my cheek. My tears ran against her face too . "Ji something is wrong and you're hurting. Please talk to me."

We took a few minutes to calm down. Holding each other close and wiping away my tears together. She took my hand and held her fingers between mine tightly. After making sure her tiny hands were firmly connected to mine she looked back up to my face.

I knew I was still red. But I wasn't crying anymore and wasn't really shaking as much either. But I knew it now. I - I had something new about me.

"What's going on, Ji? Please talk to me..." Emma begged. She was so concerned and I didn't blame her. "Emma whenever im around this guy he... he makes me so warm inside-

"Jisung wait... 'he'?" She looked at me with surprise in her green eyes. She lifted her head up and her grip on my hand loosened. I didnt realize what I had said. But she grabbed on to it right away.

"Jisung... are you gay?" She asked me the question. The one I'd been dreading to answer myself. But I'm glad she did. It helped me think about myself and come to the conclusion that...

I was gay. And I had to be that way because that's just how life is. I cant convince myself I'm straight since obviously there's a reason for this. I cant just lie.

"Yea... I- I am." She smiles brightly for some reason. Her arms slowly wrapped around my waist and pulled me back down on to the bed to give me a big hug. "Im proud of you. I really am. And Han Jisung I'll always love you and your gay self no matter who you love." She laughed to say brightening the mood.

I just smiled back with happy tears starting to run my face. I was relieved and ok now. Well, at least with someone. "No one else can know emma... please." I confirmed with her real quick. No one could know. "Not Chan. Not Kat. Mot Hyunjin. No one."

"What about Minho? I mean maybe something could happen between you two now that you're both gay." She suggested. But my eyes almost popped out of my head at the comment. "Especially not Minho."

"Why is that?" She smirked. "Gotta crush on him?" The curly headed kid giggled. Her laugh was adorable but she begged to differ.

I sighed. I felt completely normal now and my heart rate was how it should normally be which honestly surprised me. "Um. Yeah... I think I do." I stated. Because I totally did. I knew I was blushing like crazy right now.

"Ji you gotta tell him! You'll totally gotta tell him because I know he likes you back." Emma hollered.

"Oh yea? Did he say he likes me to your face?" I asked. Like who would have a crush on me at all. I'm the last person to be someone's crush on this earth.

"Well... no. But can't you just see it? Minho and jisung. Minsung! You'd be adorable!" She smiled like crazy. Emma shipped us like hell apparently and I was unaware.

"Im not telling him. Because if we did end up together then Chan would find out it wasn't you I liked. And it was Minho." I sighed. The amount of love I had for Minho made me think I was in love. But I hated to have to hide it.

"I have a stupid idea." Emma said with a smirk on her face. She turned her head so we both stared at each other laying on the bed.

"You wanna be my-" she did quotes with her fingers for the next word.

"Boyfriend?"