rainbow boy - minsung

between the raindrops

(a/n) i did not intend on having this chapter be based on a song, and in reality it isn't. but the song would be a nice addition if you ever need a tune while reading <3
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between the raindrops - life house
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the hall way was quiet and i was alone. shaken from all that had gone on i couldn't hold it in any more. my heavy body full of stones had fell to the floor in a sob. i screamed a bit too and i was shocked no body heard me and came down the hall. i mean, they would probably just turn around and leave knowing it was me anyways.

cause i was just han jisung. someone that i don't even want around.

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i snuck out the back way and walked the 6 blocks home that night.  and it was worth it.. i deserved that to be honest. chris was gone so i didn't have a ride and i didn't want to ask for one either. minho was so upset with me and hyunjin wasn't even going to his house tonight. he would be staying with chris for the time being.

just my luck the rain had started to pour, which i was in no mood for to be honest. it had not been a good night at all. who would i have left to talk too? maybe felix or binnie? or kat? they were the only people i didn't know if they were aware of the situation at hand.

and if they were i had no one to talk to. they would have also hated me as well. i would yell "it isn't fair!" but this is totally fair to me . i literally deserve to go to hell right now. but walks in the rain do give you a lot of thoughts in your head. allow me to share.

i wasn't mad at hyunjin. and i don't plan to be. although he did pull a shit move he has really valid reasons as to why. i had no problem with him. but why wouldn't he tell us about his problems?

but then again... why wouldn't i tell them i was gay? if it was something 'so simple' as minho had put it. i would definitely have to tell.... no. kat already knew didn't she? i mean she was the one who came up with the name rainbow boy.

but right now i was a storm, and maybe there would be a little rainbow afterwards but until then... just a storm. rainbow boy was no more.

but a storm. it was pouring out. i was soaked pretty much using only my blazer as a protection. so much for spending this weeks spending's on a nice suit...

my face had been a mess too. it rained on my cheeks and down to my chin. the only way to tell the difference between the raindrops and tears is one is bitter and one is sweet. the smell of rain was called petrichor. some people may also refer to it as their favorite smell, me included. but now it made me sad and alone.

i never felt alone like this before. and i don't want to be alone. i- i'm really scared. what if they never come back and what if no body ever talks to me again and what if minho never dates me and and... and so many what ifs.

i want to scream at the top of my lungs but i'm getting close to my neighborhood and it's late out.  someone else nearby did scream out for me though... which made my heart pang at the idea that someone needed me . did they really though? and by the low tone of speaking you could easily tell who it was.

a car pulled up beside me. two boys inside. a small boy driving and a sweet boy in the passenger seat calling my name. "jisung ! is that you ?!" someone called from the car.

i turned over to see our favorite changlix couple sitting in the car. changbin was driving and felix jumped out of the passenger seat and took me into his embrace. he didn't mind the fact that it was pouring out. "why are you out here all alone?"

alone. he said it. i truly was alone wasn't i. and i couldn't hold it back any longer, allowing myself to break down on felix's shoulder as pouring rain surrounded us. "hey hey... its.. its ok." felix whispered. "come on. get in the back. you can come back to my house. "  he slowly walked me to the back of changbins car so i could sit behind felix.

"ji, are you ok?" changbin turned around and asked. but i just shrugged up a bit and looked out the window. " i'll take him to my house, binnie. you remember where you're going?"

changbin nodded. i assumed bin had been giving felix a ride home and now he just wanted me to come over?

"it's ok.. i-i can just go home.." i asked. i didn't want my eyes to water again as i was already shaken and sniffing in the back seat, making it obvious something went wrong.

i could see through the seat cracks and in the rear view mirror a concerned look on felix's face. i mean.. i guess he didn't know what happened , but maybe he would be a good source of comfort. "han...you seem in the dumps, and so i'm going to help you out. "

"take a left here." felix told his date for the night, which had already come to end. i thought it was cute that as changbin drove with one hand and held felix's tiny palm with the other. i had no hand to hold. not even metaphorically , at this point.

he gave changbin a few more directions before arriving at felix's house . it appeared small, but had lots to offer inside. i had been there a few times. the basement was where we all had sleep overs if minho was not the one to host.

"come on, ji. you're gonna stay with me for the night. " felix started to get out of the car and i followed with a sigh of sadness and anxiety of coming at such short notice.

but before he got out of the car, changbin yanked him back into his seat by the wrist and decided to give a little peck to the aussie boys cheek. "no homo of course. but thanks for being the best date the the dance."

felix lit up like christmas lights in the eyes and on the cheeks. the younger one was definitely not expecting this. "n-no problem." the two friends hands traced each others arms all to way to the finger tips as felix exited the vehicle. it broke my heart more than i thought , cause i didn't think my heart could shatter anymore.

"bye bye, binnie." felix called out as the small black car drove away, you could easily tell that tingles remained in the boys body as felix's tiny fingers traced his cheek. he stared until the taillights were out of sight and then turned to remember that i was here too.

his little hand reached out and i hesitated, not knowing the sweet boy had wanted me to take it.  "come on. i'm gonna help you out."