Glory and Gore (Completed)

Chapter 13

THIRTEEN
Blair

Maliwanag na ang paligid nang mapagdesisyunan naming magpahinga muna. Pinilit ko ang mga paa kong maglakad kahit na ramdam na ramdam ko na ang sakit. Bumabalik na rin ang sakit ng likod ko na nakuha ko sa pagtilapon ng bus namin sa bangin.
"We should rest," ani Jem na mukhang napansin ang pagbabago ng postura ng katawan ko.
Umupo kami sa makapal na ugat ng puno. I sighed and give our surrounding a quick scan. May mga nagliliparan na ring mga ibon sa bawat sanga ng puno. I had this fascination with birds. Pero hindi ito iyong regular na araw na tinutukoy ko—iyon bang gigising ako at maghahanda para pumasok sa Ellis University. Those days were long gone. And this is just the second day in our own hell world, I thought to myself.
"Ellis University," bumuga ako ng hangin. Ngayon ko lang na-miss ang unibersidad namin nang ganito. And maybe because if I was there, I would feel safe. Not exposed like this. Hindi katulad ngayon na, ang buhay namin ay nanganganib. Like we were on the edge of the cliff and if we just made one wrong move, we would fall into a void, into nothingness.
Back there, everything was smoothly flowing. But here? That I wasn't sure.
Jem let out a soft chuckle. He turned to me. "Ellis, huh? We all hated that school."
Bahagya akong umiling. "Yeah, I know. Pero... bigla ko lang naisip," pahayag ko.
"This will sound strange, but it felt safe there," aniya.
Doon ako napalingon sa kanya. It was as if he'd read my mind.
My lips twitched, amazed by his comment. "Ako rin," I said. "What I would give anything to return everything back to normal. And to be home, safe and sound."
Marahas siyang bumuga ng hangin. I felt his eyes looking at my face—studying every part of it. Bago ko pa magawang takpan ang mukha ko, ibinalik niya ang tingin sa ulap na natatakpan ng mga makakapal na dahon ng puno.
It was quiet—eerily quiet. Iyong tipo ng katahimikan na makakapagpataas ng balahibo mo. But somehow that kind of feeling lessened because Jem was here. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko iyon naisip. At hindi ako makapaniwalang ginagamit ko na ang nickname niya. That's because he gave you permission to do so, sabi ng boses sa isip ko.
He stretched his feet on the ground. "You know what, we can just stay here, kung gusto mo," muling baling niya sa akin.
Napalingon ako sa kanya, sinisigurado kung biro lang ba iyon. "Seryoso ka?"
Tumango siya. "Why not? And dito natin hintayin ang rescue team kapag dumating sila," simpleng sabi niya.
Napangiti ako sa sinabi niya. He was right—we could just stay here and wait for the rescue teams to find us. Pero ang imahe ng mga nilalang na pumatay kay Celaena ay bumalik sa isip ko. And I knew in the back of my head that there would be no rescue teams.
"That was the first thing Ms Sanchez had told us that if ever we will meet an accident, we should stay as closely as possible in the place where the accident took place, right?" aniya.
"You know we can't do that, right?" saad ko.
Just thinking about going back to our bus gave me the chills.
Mahina siyang tumawa. "You're right. Gusto ko lang paniwalain iyong sarili ko na makakaligtas tayo. And then we would all wake up in a hospital room—safe and sound," sabi niya, nakatingin pa rin sa itaas.
"Sana panaginip na lang ang lahat ng ito..." I whispered, thinking about Celaena's death—every of my classmate's death and of Sir Denver's.
And thinking about how I wouldn't be able to bring them back.

***
After half an hour or so, we decided to start walking again and try to look for the others.
Alam kong nandito lang din sila sa gubat na ito. I know it in the back of head that they are here somewhere. We just gotta keep on walking.
"Left or right?" Jem asked, suddenly.
Natigil ako sa paglalakad at tumingin sa harap ko. Mayroong dalawang daanan. It was not exactly a road, pero parang tinanggal ang mga damong nakaharang doon para magsilbi iyong daanan.
Nagkibit-balikat ako. "I don't know. Ano ba sa tingin mo?"
Humalikipkip siya. "I think..." inilagay niya ang hintuturo niya sa sentido niya na para talaga siyang nag-iisip. "Right?"
Umiling ako. "Nope. We should go left."
"Okay," he simply said, shrugging.
Bigla tuloy akong nag-alala. Baka ako ang sisihin niya kung may mangyari sa aming masama. Hinawakan ko ang braso niya. "No, Jem. You can't just agree with me. I mean—"
An amused smile slowly spread across his face. "Your choice, Wadson."
"What?" nag-aalalang tanong ko. "No, ayoko. We should go with your choice, Mr Caliente."
"Okay," aniya at naglakad na patungo sa kanan. Hinigit ko ulit ang braso niya.
"John—Jem! Ano'ng ginagawa mo? We don't even know where we are going. At hindi rin tayo nakasisiguro na ligtas ang... ang kahit alinsa dalawang daan na 'yan," nagpa-panic na saad ko.
"Any way would do. Kahit naman may kapahamakan, kaya kong lumaban. I can save you, too." Mayabang na ngumiti siya. May bahid din pala ng kayabangan 'tong mokong na 'to.
Kinagat ko ang ibaba kong labi at maiging pinag-isipan ang sinabi niya. "Hindi, mali ka, Jem. At isa pa, kaya kong ipagtanggol ang sarili ko. All I'm saying is, we should think this through."
Hinawakan niya ang magkabila kong braso. "You'll be safe with me. I promise," seryosong sabi niya.
Sa hindi ko malamang dahilan, tumango ako. "O-okay."
Sa ilang segundong iyon, narinig ko ang mabilis na pagpintig ng puso ko. I didn't know why I felt that. Huminga ako nang malalim. What is happening to you, Blair? Ang lalaking nasa harap mo ang ama ng batang dala ni Celaena, I told myself. I shouldn't even be happy because I didn't deserve it.
Mabilis akong nag-iwas ng tingin.
"We should go, then," kinuha niya ang kamay ko at isinukbit iyon sa braso niya. "Kumapit ka lang."
I quickly snatched my hand away from him. "'Sorry. H-hindi kasi ako kumportab—"
He looked startled by my reaction but his expression quickly softened. "It's okay," aniya at inilahad ang dalawa niyang kamay sa harapan ko. "Ladies first."
I nodded. Why are you even feeling awkward with him? Bulyaw ng isang bahagi ng isip ko.
Bahagya akong umiling, pinalis ang isiping iyon at nagpatiuna na sa paglalakad.