Once in a lifetime

9

"This or this" Jan asks, holding up two dresses. One short and tight purple one and another style of short and tight but in blue.
I look at both.

"Purple" I say eventually "but I really need your help!! Gigi will be there!"

"Ok fine, let me look at your options."

She holds up my clothes.

"How about we raid my wardrobe instead." She says, already pulling out a sequined red dress.

I'm hesitant to take it as she hand it to me, but part of me wants to impress Gigi, so I try it on.

Surprisingly, I love it!! I love how the dress clings tight in all the right places, which is usually something I'd hate!
I pull on my red platform heels as Jan changes into the purple dress and puts on white heels, then we both leave our dorm room and head to Brooke's house.

We arrive at the house around 8:05 but the party is already in full swing. Jan grabs me by the arm and drags me inside at full speed.

"Hey Jan, hey Crystal! Glad you could both make it" Brooke says as we step inside. "This is Vanessa"

"Hey hey heyyyyy!!" The brunette beside Brooke says, she's wearing the most gorgeous outfit and makeup.

"Hey Brooke, Hey Vanessa!" Jan says

"Hey" I say, smiling

"Do you want drinks, cause child I am the absolute MASTER when it comes to mixing drinks, ok?" Vanessa says, grabbing both our hands and bringing us into the kitchen.

We got our drinks and decided to go onto the dance floor, we both have a genuinely good time as we get drunker and drunker, laughing at nothing and enjoying life.

We decide to go over to the pool table because Jan sees a guy she finds cute who's playing, she cheers him on as I lean against the wall, zoning out and just hearing the music mixed with my thoughts.

"Hey I'm going to the bathroom" I say to Jan who just glances over and nods, barely paying attention.

I walk around Brooke's surprisingly big house looking for the bathroom, walking in on quite a few hookups as I walk look, eventually finding the bathroom.

I look in the mirror and decide I need to freshen up a bit.
While Brushing out my hair and touching up my makeup I become aware of the fact that I haven't seen Gigi at all tonight, but I push that thought out of my brain. There was a lot of people at this party and I'd only been in two rooms.

When I'm satisfied with how I look I go back downstairs to the pool room where Jan was, but notice she's not there so I decide to go dance on my own for a while, and it's worth it. I block out everyone around me and live in the moment which is something I'd always struggled with.

Eventually I decide it's time to call it a night, so I start looking around for Jan.
She's not in the pool room or living room, and I check the kitchen and dining room.

I decide to check outside before I look upstairs. I hadn't been outside yet so she could easily be there.

I walk out onto the back deck and look around, no sign of Jan.
I'm about to go back inside when I see her.
Gigi.
Her lips kissing another girl.
A girl that's not me.
A blonde who I'll never compare to.
And I can't even be mad because Gigi was never my girl.
But... it hurts.
I feel my heart sink as the tears begin to well up in my eyes, my throat clogging up as I turn to walk away as fast as my legs can bring me.

I run back to the dorms and throw myself onto my bed, the tears running, dripping black eyeliner all over my bedsheets.

I shouldn't be surprised that Gigi had someone.
I shouldn't have got my hopes up.

That girl kissing Gigi will never be me.

Ever.