Once in a lifetime

15

We walk out of the theater. Silence hits us along with a cool breeze. I smile into the night, feeling content and happy.

Gigi and I start walking around the campus. I want to bring her down the walk me and Jan go  so I start leading her towards that.

"Where are we going?" She asks

"Somewhere quieter" I say, as there are still a lot of people around the main campus area, even if most of them are at the show.

We walk down behind the buildings and down the lane through the trees, which are almost completely bare by now.

"Let's sit down, my feet ache" Gigi says

I agree happily, performing in these heels and then walking around was not comfortable.

I sit a bit away from her but she moves over to sit closer.

"So Crystal, tell me about you." She says suddenly.

"What do you mean?" I ask in confusion

"Well, I know things like your favorite music, tell me something new!" She says

"What? Like my middle name is Elizabeth or that my favorite food is cinnamon rolls?" I say, laughing.

She pushes me playfully.

"No! Like... I don't know.. tell me about your high school days!" She says

I think for a minute.

"Well... I had three close friends. Daya, Daegen and Lux" I say.

"Cool! They're really cool names" she says

"You're right" I say laughing "so tell me about yours?"

"I've known Nicky and Courtney all my life. They mean the world to me" she says

We continue to chat about our childhoods, it feels good. I feel like I'm seeing a side of Gigi she tended not to show.

"My mom is my biggest supporter, Shes a costume designer. She inspired me to get into fashion design" she says.

I smile at the ground.

"I don't really get along with my Mom, she doesn't like how I dress alternative or how I'm interested in more creative things" I say, feeling a bit sad. "My dads great though!"

"I'm sorry, it sucks not to have that support from your mom. If it's any help I really love your style!" She says.

I smile at her.

"Of course it helps!" I say. "I don't really take her comments to heart anymore, I'm just worried for when I come out."

"I don't want to think about coming out and I know my Mom will be accepting! I cant imagine what it's like not knowing." She says

"It doesn't matter too much! I know my dad will support me no matter what." I say

Gigi looks at me and I catch her eye.

"Gigi?" I say.

"..yes?"

I don't answer. I cup her face in my hands and kiss her suddenly. It's not much of a kiss, just a peck really.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean- I mean I should've-" I stutter, looking at the ground.

"Crystal?" She says

I look up. "Gigi?"

"Shut up."

She grabs me, pulling me close to her and kisses me, a deeper kiss this time. My heart flutters.

This feels so right.

I let all the bad things fade away as I continue to kiss her.

This. This is what happiness feels like.

——————————————————
I be making myself feel single.

Haha... 😔

-J