Once in a lifetime

26

Gigi realized her mistake as soon as she heard my mom start to speak, I could tell by the way her face dropped.

"I meant like... I friend that's a girl, like you know they say in like, movies and stuff." She stuttered, trying to backtrack on what she said.

It didn't work.

"I think that's quite enough from you.. Gigi." She spat, making a disgusted face as she pushed past, purposely hitting her shoulder against Gigi, causing her to stumble slightly with a hurt look on her face. She caught my eye but I quickly looked away, feeling a mix of anger, embarrassment and sadness welling up in me. I knew Gigi hadn't known I was closeted and I knew I should've told her. I couldn't help but feel slightly annoyed at her for saying it, even if she didn't know. I needed something to pinpoint exactly where this storm started, and that was Gigi's words.

I hung my head, hiding my face behind a curtain of my red curls as I walked faster in order to catch up with my enraged mother. I knew that what the day had in store was not going to be pretty, but it was better to get the worst over with so that it wouldn't build up to a point where it would be impossible to face.

My dad put a comforting hand on my shoulder in silent support as soon as I caught up with them. I was glad my dad was so accepting, I was worried to see how my Mom would take it though. By the sound of her outburst, it didn't seem like it was going to go good.

We arrived at the car in silence. My parents, or more so my dad, had planned to go on a picnic in a local park. I was thankful for this as I knew the conversation we were going to have was one that wouldn't be the most comfortable to have in a restaurant.

The drive was short yet it felt like we drove for hours. It was silent except for my dad tapping on the steering wheel as we drove. I was thankful to get out of that claustrophobic silence as soon as we got to the park. I grabbed the picnic basket and ran ahead, looking for somewhere quieter so we wouldn't be at as much risk of being overheard. I knew my mom and I knew that her actions and words towards subjects like this tended to draw attention to us. Wether that attention was good or bad depended on the situation and the people.

I eventually found the perfect spot just beside a stream. It was off the path a bit and didn't seem like a place many people went so I figured it would be ok. I laid out all the food and sat with my parents. The awkward silence hung in the air around us for a few seconds before my mother couldn't take it any longer.

"So you're a dyke then, crystal." She spat.

I flinched at the word.

I thought for a minute before slowly nodding. There wasn't a point in hiding it.

She shook her head in disgust and I couldn't help the tears that began to spill down my cheeks.

"Hey crystal, don't cry. I'm sure your mother just got a shock, isn't that right sweetheart?" He said, leaning forward to pat my shoulder and looking over at my mom. "Of course we accept you as you are into this family."

I smiled but it was soon wiped from my face as my mother stood up suddenly.

"Speak for yourself. This... this PERSON is no child of mine." She hissed, storming away.

My heart fell. My chest aches and the tears began once more. My dad came over and hugged me.

"I'm so sorry crystal. I'm so so sorry." He said "I always accept you and I'm sure she'll come around."

He sounded unsure but I was sure.

I was 100% certain that I had just been disowned by my own mother. As much as I disliked her, she was my mother.

I hid my face in my hands as I began to cry again, my dads arm around me. We sat like this for a few minutes but he eventually decided that we should go back. Offering me a lift back in the car.

"Dad, I'm n-not going in the c-car with HER." I said between sobs. "I-I'll get Jan t-to pick me u-up"

He nodded understandingly and walked away with the basket, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I curled up in a ball and hid my face between my knees as pure sadness took over every inch of my mental and physical state.

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so how is everyone today :)

- J