Once in a lifetime

10

I wake up sad. It took me a minute to remember why but when I did it hit me hard.

I groaned and pulled my blanked over my head, I didn't see the point in getting up today. I said I'd help Gigi with the decorating but honestly didn't know if I wanted to see her.

I look over at Jan's bed, It's empty. She must've stayed with the guy she met at the party. A pity really, I felt I needed her right now but I decided that maybe a walk would help me clear my head before I helped Gigi, because as much as I didn't want to see her, I couldn't just cancel, so I decided to go anyway.

I walk down the little back path where me and Jan walked the day before and sit by the stream, allowing the tears to roll down my face since I knew I was alone.
I don't understand why this hurt so much, me and Gigi weren't in anyway even close to together but yet here I was, feeling like someone grabbed my heart and shoved it to the bottom of my stomach every time I thought about her kissing that blonde.

I sit silently with my thoughts for about an hour, silently crying to myself, not even touching my phone as I didn't want to deal with anyone until absolutely necessary.

I didn't want to think about what happened but  I kept thinking about it. It felt so awful. I was so caught up in these thoughts that I didn't notice someone come up and sit beside me.

"Hey crystal, I've been looking everywhere for you."

It was Jan.

"Hi Jan, sorry I should've left a note." I say, wiping the tears away.

"Why are you crying Babe" she asks.

"I saw... I saw gigi with... someone else last night and they were like... kissing and I just... I don't know." I say, crying harder now

Jan hugs me.

"It's ok Crys, maybe it was just a kiss, nothing more" she says

"But maybe it wasn't Jan" I snap, and I Immediately feel bad. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap I'm just, I don't know. Feelings hurt and I've never felt this way about anyone before"

She hugs me again.

"Don't worry about snapping I have thick skin" she smiles "and listen, you're going decorating with her tonight right? You could ask her then if you wanted"

"I guess I could do that" I nod at her

She smiles

"Well come on let's go get drinks in Jinkx's to get your mind off this whole situation, my treat!" She says, grabbing both my hands and pulling me up off the grass.

I look at my phone when I stand up.

"@ thegigigoode commented on your post "Pretty !!""

"1 missed call from Gigi ✨"

"Text from Gigi: hey Crystal! You're not picking up your call so I'm assuming you're busy, meet you at the theatre at 6?"

I sigh at my phone, I hate that these are the notifications that give me butterflies.
Wait, Gigi called me pretty, could that mean something?
No.
Because she has the blonde.

I quickly reply to her text with "sounds good!" And catch up to Jan.

I'm trying to be positive but the hurt, it hurts.

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Thank you so much for 1k reads!! Love you :,)

- J