Taking Chances

20. Advantages

"Everybody, I'm going out!" as she made her way to the foyer---gathering her keys and coat, she kind of took her time.

Lindsey came out of the bedroom and he made his way towards the living room, seeing her slip her high heels on.

Feeling his presence, she turned and gave a small smile.

"Date?" he asked, pursing his lips.

"Yeah," she lingered a little. Sighing right after, "Lindsey, I have a question."

"Okay..."

"Well, I know this isn't your favorite topic. But when we were talking a while back about me messing up my relationship with Ben by taking care of you... Did you mean you want me to be happy even though we're not together?" she came close. "You don't want me to make him angry by making him jealous?"

"Well, wasn't I obvious?" he shrugged.

She just smiled, finding it charming but also thanking God that she didn't say anything in return to really make him angry the morning he lashed out.

With her work and communication skills, she learned to bite her tongue and think about all the reasons things might have been said and it really helped her in the long run, especially with her spouse because he knew how to make her head spin even if it wasn't intentional.

"Look, I'm not giving up on you or us. I want us to be together," he added. "But you also make sense when you say you should be able to share company with somebody else even in deeper ways that I might not like," he kind of laughed. "But I don't get to see anybody, so that shouldn't stop you."

She nodded. "I was also thinking maybe I should keep everything private. I thought it would be good for us if I told him about you, you about him... But I guess that really just hurts you while making me crazy," she gently rested her hand on his shoulder.

"We wouldn't want you to go any crazier," he smirked, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"For sure," she had to nod even if he was joking.

"For what it's worth, I was glad you felt that you could tell me all about it. Made me happy that you could trust me in a way like that especially with all that I've done to you in the past. But to keep us on the safe side, I don't think you should tell him about me at all. You should be talking about you and the kids."

"Well, there is one thing I need your opinion on first..." she trailed, biting her bottom lip.

"What's that?"

"He asked me when you and I were gonna divorce a couple weeks ago. I was saved because Devyn happened to call and cut my conversation off, so I never answered. And I'm not saying I'm gonna do it, but I was wondering what I should say. I mean, this isn't a normal relationship I'm in."

"Right," he agreed. "Just tell him we're working on it."

"But I don't want to lie... He's a very good person that I'd hate lying to. He'd hate me and I'd like to think he thinks I'm a good person."

"You are a good person," he assured. "Why don't you tell him it's in the middle of happening or something? Our greeting that day when me and the kids met him and the feelings you had toward me, I don't think you wasted any time to tell him we were gonna divorce."

Those words hit her hard only because her feelings towards him at the time were what sent her to go on the date in the first place.

"I don't think he's gonna ask you to marry him after this short amount of time and I don't mean that in a bad way."