Perfect Imperfection (Mayuri Kurotsuchi)

Lake of Serenity

I left the manor in a hurry, despite Mayuri calling after to me.  My mind was a whirlwind of thought while my heart flooded with emotions. Though most moments of my life had been spent with others, the one place I'd spent time alone a century ago came to mind as my fist bunched up my robes while I jogged. My destination was outside of the gates, to a lake that few frequented. When Kisuke had disappeared those months after I gained my zanpakto, I'd spent much time there to collect my thoughts.

I was certain that it would help me to calm my mind and help me work through the underlying problems.

As I ran through the streets, it was clear the news of the experiment spread quickly, many Shinigami stopped and bowed as I passed them. They were congratulating me about being decreed Princess of the Shihōin  and beginning my training to become the Commander over Onmitsukidō. Being the Princess was only temporary before I replaced my father as Head of the Clan.

I nodded in appreciation, but did not allow myself to slow my pace. The words seemed to swell the panic and worry I felt of the marriage.  Wouldn't it be taking on more than I could handle? I was going from  no responsibility to becoming the head of the clan. My pace quickened as it began to feel like I was running away from the new mountain of responsibilities.

For a moment, I remembered how flighty and free Yoruichi was - to the point of almost being irresponsible at times. Yet, she always completed her important tasks and did what was asked of her. I hoped I could lead well. Would it interfere with getting married? Could I do both and succeed? Would Mayuri's sweet side still remain or could I end up like... me before, an experiment.

The scenery changed quickly, I came back to my senses as the cool wind blowing over the surface of the egg shaped lake tickled my face. The sun reflected off the surface and bathed me in warmth, relaxing my tense muscles. The soft green landscape of the clearing that surrounded the lake took my breath away like when I first came here over a century ago. The stillness of the lake calmed my overactive mind.

I inhaled a deep, crisp breath as I watched fish swimming in the lake near me. The beauty humbled me as I plopped down by the edge. One I had first come here, I had been riddled with Kisuke not seeing me for over two months. I had resolved to move forward and be strong, even if it hurt.

But the events this time were much larger scale and permanent, including my marriage to Mayuri and yet in the face of this lake it all seemed so small.

"In this world, there is only one wonder like this." I muttered to myself as my heartbeat feathered.

Marrying Mayuri was probably the easiest of the tasks I would be given, but it made me nervous that a person could change after marriage. Even if I was the head of a clan, Mayuri would always come first to me as my husband because I loved him as we were. The soft pads of his fingers touching my face and the low rumble of his voice when we were intimate played in my mind.

Even though, I wanted to stew over it, the memories of our past helped to quiet the thoughts one by one. Despite the sword incident, Mayuri had never forced me to be an experiment even when we were on bad terms. I'd seen his face when he conducted live experiments and the concern and worry in his eyes was a first when he'd done a simple observation experiment on me.

It would seem he would not be able to stomach opening me with a surgical knife. That would not change. The sun shifted as I sat gently lost in my thoughts and the beautiful scenery before me. The glare from the lake began to blind me, but plopped down on my side and laid in the lofty grass.

I knew that once I left this lake, I would become  someone different, someone people would idolize and revere. I would have to learn and retain a lot which would be terrifying for me, but in front of the lake I only felt peace and a quiet determination. 

The Head of the clan could also become the Captain of 2nd division, this would also be within my reach now. My mind flashed to the wicked smile of Gin's, but I felt no fear. The little boy's face flashed in my mind and I felt the resolve to protect him. 

My fate of being helpless had turned and I would not look to others to protect me. I didn't have to be a kitten anymore, I would become the tiger. I closed my eyes and began a series of deep breaths, mediating on the change that I would have to adjust to and the changes that I would have to make going forward. 

I would live up to the expectations that no one held for me. I would do it with Mayuri by my side to hold my hand as I achieved my honor. After what seemed like a few minutes, I opened my eyes to twilight rays bathing the clearing. It had been close to one in the afternoon when I had arrived, but time had slipped by and it was 8 p.m.

I cursed inwardly as I jerked up to run back to the mansion, with a quick stop to the Institute.

I hoped that he would not be regretful of asking for my hand in marriage since I ran off in a frenzy earlier, I would definitely have to apologize.

I guess there were somethings  that wouldn't change.

Sorry this chapter is kind of short and there's no action! Mayuri will be back next chapter! The MC found her resolve!

As always, It really means a lot to me, thank you for taking your time to read! If you liked the chapter, like the chapter! Add it to your library and follow me for updates! :) Thank you for reading!