Unpunished/Vkook ff

Chapter 22: Mine.

Jungkook's P.O.V

"Jungkook, Honey, I made your favorite pancakes!" Mom knocked on my door. "Wake up! I'll be waiting downstairs!"

Waking up wasn't an option as there was no sleep to wake from, only the much real nightmare of thoughts, caged in my mind. My feet dragged me to the bathroom, and my hands turned the shower on, letting freezing, icy water wash the emotional cocktail away. My legs carried me back to the bedroom, where the first pieces of fabric in my path were thrown onto my body.

"You look great today!" Mother greeted me with a cheerful smile once I entered the dining room. "Sit down, darling, breakfast's ready."

I was staring at the plate, dug my fork into the food, yet didn't have the strength nor will to lift my arm and take it to my mouth.

"How are you doing?" she asked. "Jungkookie?" The happy tone had died out. "What's wrong, love? You should tell me."

My fork dropped. "I think I'm in an abusive relationship."

Mother had trouble swallowing her last bite. Pale, she paused to take a deep breath, running a palm through her hair. "Wha... What did they do to you?"

"No, Mom." I gazed up. "I'm the abuser."

"What? Why would you...?"

"Because he's hot..."

She took another breath. "An abuser wouldn't feel bad, and my son would never hurt a partner. Jungkookie, if you feel bad for expressing your sexuality, then you must acknowledge there's nothing to be ashamed of," she stated. Her expression softened. "Lust can be a beautiful blessing when used for pleasure. I have no idea what you've engaged in, but I refuse to believe you'd hurt someone on purpose."

I didn't say anything in response.

"Perhaps, only if you have a clear understanding that both consent and mutual respect are involved," she continued, and again, I didn't utter a word. "Like your father...?" She coughed. "Come on, child! You'd never have bad intentions, I know you."

"Yeah, never..." I got up, grabbed my bag, and walked towards the front door.

"You didn't even touch your pancakes!" She ran after me. "You can talk to your mother. I would never judge."

"That is why I won't hold this conversation with you."

I was yearning for Taehyung more than ever, every part of me craved every part of his, yet these feelings were in constant conflict with excruciating guilt. As long as I treated him like a toy to use, there was no escape from my pathetic wrongs, not while Taehyung refused to let go.

Finally, I'd reached an Epiphany. A foreign excitement began building up inside of me, and the remorse had vanished.

"They canceled Kim's shift," Robert said the moment he noticed me at school. "Sooner or later, he will tell you this, and I want to make sure—"

"Don't bother. He'd be safe with me, I promise." I put down my bag and searched for my wallet. "I have no clue if we'll do the devil's tango or not, though I'm planning to take him on a date first... Do you think that's enough for a nice café?"

Robert tilted his head. "I don't understand..."

"I feel bad," I said, "a part of me just wishes to get it together and make him happy like any average guy who'd try expressing his feelings."

"Are you in love with him?!"

"I'm only certain I want to take him out, and that he would love the idea," I told my friend, returning my belongings inside the bag after a shrug.