touch (meanie)

6.

warning: sexual abuse

this was included in mingyu's character because i wanted to make conscience of sexual abuse towards men, which is often ignored, i know this might only be a fictional character, but sadly, it is a reality for many people

friendly reminder, this is an extremely serious topic and i will not appreciate any jokes about it:)

this takes place 3 years before the time this story started
-

"do you want to kiss me?" nahyun smiled sweetly

mingyu gulped, he had never imagined his first kiss would be with his crush, he was 14 years old and hadn't had his first kiss because he was naturally awkward with his crushes

but nahyun was different, she was two years older, but she was always nice to him, which made him consider her a trustworthy friend, they were alone in a classroom, so it was the perfect time to have his first kiss

he nervously leaned in so he could kiss her softly and smiled at the feeling of lips on his own for the very first time

after a few seconds, nahyun slipped in her tongue, but he was very awkward and had no idea how to kiss so he did his best to try and kiss back

the problem started when she took one of her hands to his crotch and rubbed it upwards making him immediately break the kiss

"come on, don't be a coward" she smirked and came closer to his lips again with her hand still on his crotch

"no, i- i really don't want to" mingyu said nervously and tried to push her hand away but fear paralyzed him

"prove that you're a real man" she said and introduced a hand in his pants

mingyu made a troubled expression and wished he could react and make her stop "please leave me alone, please, please, i don't want this" he said and started feeling his eyes get teary

"i know you like it, just stop being such a baby, you were probably dreaming of this" she said and started moving her hand

the second he felt her hand move inside his pants, he could finally react and push her away

she yelped as she fell to the floor and looked at him angrily "i knew you were a freak, i just wanted to prove it" she said and ran away

he stayed there and felt some tears escape his eyes before he starting to sob violently in embarrassment and confusion while asking himself why couldn't he just be normal

the next day at school, everyone in his class stared at him weirdly, he sat on his place and saw a note

"sexless creep"

he turned around and saw people snapping pictures and giggling at his embarrassed face, he felt his breathing get faster and a pain on his chest bother him

it was like the whole world was looking at him, he felt troubled and only wanted the ground to swallow him forever

not knowing what to do, he stood up and ran away
-

present day

at first, after his very traumatic first kiss, he thought he was exaggerating, but then, he eventually admitted to himself that he was sexually assaulted and thinking about it made him want to hurl

even before of what had happened in his first kiss, it was always very uncomfortable for mingyu whenever people brought up sex, in fact, when he was in middle school he thought something was wrong with him because everyone seemed to be very interested in sex and he really didn't like the topic, his old friends used to tell him to stop being such a baby and that he should be more mature

but the curiosity never came to mingyu, not even in his puberty, he had investigated on google if something was wrong with him for not even feeling the need to touch himself or anyone and found several explanations

the one that fit him more was asexuality, however, he didn't like to think about labels, he wasn't ready before, but that time when hansol had mentioned it, it felt right, so he really questioned himself this time

but he couldn't be sure, what if he was just shy or traumatized? he had to be sure, so he decided that if he tried it, he could figure out whether he liked it or not

it was probably not the best idea, however, there he was, in front of seungcheol's house with his heart beating aggressively

the older had told him and verkwan to come over because his parents weren't going to be home and they could have fun

seungkwan and hansol told him that they couldn't go because they had a dinner party with their parents to discuss family matters, but mingyu told him he would be there in about half an hour

he was going to try to seduce him into having sex, of course he didn't know if it was going to work or not, but he wanted to try

when seungcheol opened the door, he smiled "hey, i ordered pizza, so we can play some videogames in the meantime" he said

mingyu nodded nervously and seungcheol raised an eyebrow "is everything okay?" he asked

"yeah, don't worry" he laughed awkwardly earning a weird look from the other as he entered the house

seungcheol closed the door behind him and walked over to turn on his xbox before passing him a control so they could start playing, but mingyu couldn't concentrate and just stared at it

"uhh" he said "what if we don't play xbox?" he asked

the other turned off the console and sat down on the couch beside him "i know you said that you're okay, but you're acting weird and it's worrying me, so, are you sure you're okay? you're a little pale"

mingyu scratched his head "yeah, i was just wondering if we could do something more fun" he said trying to sound attractive but seungcheol snorted

"you're acting weird mingyu, seriously, just stop it, it's freaking me out" he said and chuckled

"i'm just saying, we should have some fun because your parents aren't home and verkwan aren't here" mingyu suggested

"well, i wanted to play some videogames but you said you didn't want to, use your words and tell me what you want to do then" seungcheol said while raising his eyebrows

"fine" mingyu gulped "i want to have sex"

-

thank you for reading!!

don't stay quiet, seek for help with someone you trust, and remember

you are not alone