touch (meanie)

11.

they were still at mingyu's house talking and his mood was notoriously better, all traces of a panic attack were long gone

"so, how do you feel when you think about sex?" hansol asked

mingyu bit his lip thinking of the best way to answer the question "well, i think of it and it doesn't disgust me, it just doesn't make me feel anything, nothing related to it makes me feel anything"

the other three slightly opened their mouth in surprise "for real? i can't even imagine not feeling anything about sex, you're lucky you don't get uncomfortable boners then" seungkwan said

"oh, i do get them" mingyu said making them all confused, they weren't very experienced in the topic

"so you do feel something?" seungcheol asked him

"no, i get them in situations when you guys also get them in which you don't have to be aroused, like waking up or just because my dick felt like betraying me, but if i try to get one i can't because i can't make myself feel like it" he explained

"and if you get one, how do you feel about it?" seungkwan asked, asexuality was making him very curious

"well, i just ignore it and wait for it to go away, i do feel that urge to make it go away, but that doesn't mean i want sex or that i even think of it as a solution, not even touching myself" mingyu said

"oh so you don't- you know" seungcheol asked, for other people it would've been uncomfortable but they trusted each other a lot so it wasn't

mingyu shook his head "i have tried it but it doesn't make me feel anything, so it's pointless"

"so, now that you know for sure, you're comfortable with us bringing out sex?" seungkwan asked

"yeah, i guess it was just uncomfortable before because i had mixed-feelings about it, now i'm sure i REALLY DON'T like it" mingyu chortled

"before knowing, did you ever try to do it? i mean of course not because you felt like it, but just to experience it and see how you felt about it" hansol asked

mingyu coughed awkwardly from shock and then gulped nervously while trying not to make eye contact with any of his friends "yeah, i- i tried it with an old friend you guys don't know and it didn't work out as planned" he replied nervously

seungkwan and hansol looked at each other suspiciously on why mingyu seemed so nervous and when they turned to look at seungcheol, the older made a confused look too, thankfully he was a much better liar than the taller so his friends didn't even suspect him

"but i'm still a virgin" mingyu continued "we didn't actually do it because i stopped it when i realized i didn't want it"

"thank you for trusting us" seungcheol said honestly with a smile and hit his arm playfully

"thank you for being here for me" mingyu said shyly and smiled

-

thank you for reading!!

i wanted to remind you guys that mingyu's character feels that way as an asexual but some asexuals are different!!

they can touch themselves for health purposes or because they felt like it but not really be into sex

also, if you're not interested in sex it doesn't SPECIFICALLY MEAN YOU'RE ASEXUAL, it can be different things that only you can figure out c:

plus, it's perfectly normal not being interested in sex or masturbating even if you're not asexual so, don't be like mingyu and pressure yourself into knowing why you feel like you feel

remember sexualities are just labels to feel more comfortable and that no one can tell you who you are<3