touch (meanie)

44.

"i'm really sensitive to cold beverages so, no thank you" wonwoo said when mingyu offered him a sip of his drink "plus, it's been years since i had a cold drink because minghao says it's bad for your health" he explained

the taller nodded "yeah, he told me that too but i couldn't help myself from keep drinking them, they're too refreshing" he chuckled

a cat suddenly meowed at wonwoo making him turn his head to pet him happily "hey, this might be sudden" the older started "but i'm curious about something and hope it's okay to ask, but if you're not comfortable with answering please don't feel pressured, you can say no and it's completely valid" he said a little nervously

"sure" mingyu smiled sweetly at the other's cuteness and started petting a cute black cat that had just approached him

"well, i wanted to know when you discovered you were asexual and how you discovered it, but remember you don't have to answer if you don't want to, please don't feel like you need to tell me, it can be something very private for some people and i completely respect that" he explained quickly

mingyu froze for a few seconds before smiling lightly "oh don't worry, it's not that private, i discovered it not so long ago, of course i always suspected something was different about me, but at first i just thought i was broken or something" he giggled "although i did start suspecting i was asexual after some research, but even then, i was in complete denial, well, i was in part in denial and another part in doubt because i wasn't completely sure, but also ignored asexuality being a possibility"  he explained

wonwoo just nodded while paying careful attention to his words so he continued "one time, hansol mentioned it and it felt right so i really asked myself if i was actually asexual, but couldn't figure it out, so i did something stupid" mingyu said and cringed "i tried to have sex with a friend, i just wanted to see if i was into it and i purposely tried it with a friend so i could be sure that if i wanted to stop, they would stop" the taller admitted "we weren't even completely naked when i stopped the whole situation, they immediately stopped and calmed me down because i cried from embarrassment" mingyu avoided saying seungcheol's name or using gender specific pronouns because not only was it embarrassing, but it was also their secret and swore not to tell anyone ever, so he didn't want to break his promise

"that's good to hear, nothing worse than people that don't understand the concept of no" wonwoo said

mingyu chuckled and nodded before continuing "they told me that they would pretend it never happened so i would feel better and we haven't talked about it since then, but even after that, i was still in denial even though unconsciously i already knew, which brought me to my panic attack" he said tiredly "when i have a panic attack, all the things that are troubling me suddenly bother me more than anything which makes me blurt out stuff, so that's what happened when i accidentally came out to my whole ethics class including you, it was all because of that test that got me extra nervous"

"so when you said it, after that, were you sure?" the older asked

"yeah, i really was, and it felt amazing to be out, but my parents don't know yet because i still don't know how to tell them even though they probably suspect it" mingyu replied

"thank you for sharing that with me" wonwoo smiled "you didn't ask but if you want to know, i can also tell you my story, although i have to warn you it's pretty boring" he chuckled

"that would be great, i'm also a little curious but never asked because it's not something that's very relevant in our relationship" mingyu explained and grinned

"well, it wasn't very complicated because i always somehow knew, ever since kids my age started feeling interested in sex i knew i wasn't so i told my parents, they told me what asexuality was and described just as i felt so it was pretty obvious to me, but of course i couldn't be sure until i was older so i waited a few years before labeling myself, when i turned 14, i was already more than sure and told everyone around me, thankfully they were always supportive and i never had any problems for it" wonwoo explained

suddenly the taller's mood wasn't as good as before, his smile faded away slightly but he tried to hide it, he wasn't mad or sad, he was guilty of feeling a little jealous and hated he felt that way

but how couldn't he? he had had problems all his teenage years because of his sexuality and it was amazing some people actually had it easy, but he would never blame wonwoo for it, he was just lucky

"hey, are you okay?" the older asked

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thank you for reading!!

you're valid and loved:)