The Aesthetics Of Waiting

CHAPTER 26 (Give or Give Up?)

"It's more than what you call cheating, Sandy." I said in disgust. "It's fucking something worse than that."

"That's completely fucked up, France. You should've known better." Diane said, while nibbling the chips on her hands.

I went back home to my house. It seems like this is what home really is rather than the penthouse that Zach and I have bought. I couldn't believe that he finally allowed that woman to suck his face. I don't want any more lies so I broke up with him. We agreed to sell the penthouse for our own good. I don't ever want to see him anymore. Not yet until I healed from all the pain he had caused me.

I might have been with Zach for a long time but he doesn't trust me. Because if he trust me, he would listen to my explanation and he would understand my side. But then, he thought that I cheated on him so probably he did just like that. What a stupid nincompoop. I thought that he would be different, I thought that he would love me and never cheat on me. But he turned to be like the other guys out there.

I munched away my pizza and starts picking another one.

"Jesus, Francine, that's like your fifth slice." Alexa frowned and chuckled.

"Why?" I furrowed. "I'm hungry."

"No France, you're upset." Sandy chipped in.

"Yeah, girl, come on. No more hiding, cry it out." Diane said. "We're here to listen, we're here for you."

My eyes starts to become watery and I didn't hold back my tears anymore. I cried it out. It hurts so bad, after everything we've been through, after all of our promises, we ended breaking up.

"No more love travels, no more 'I love yous', no more 'good nights', no more texts or calls from him, no more calling of 'princess' or 'baby', no more Zach, no more." I said and whined like a baby.

"I still love him, I still want him back, you know, I want us to start again, but I don't know how to trust him anymore." I said between sniffles.

"Once a trust is broken, it will be really hard to get it back." Sandy began.

"A relationship must go through challenges and struggles to prove how strong it really is and how much you could give and give up for that relationship." Alexa chimed in.

Alexa has been with Andrew for like a year already and yet they are still together. I envy their loyalty with each other, I wish Zach and I could've done better.

"You and Andrew..." I hiccuped. "How'd you make it?"

Alexa smiled. "Andrew is very patient with me, France. You see us as the 'strong couple' but we face a lot of challenges in private too. We encounter fights, jealousy and anything that a couple would go through, because that's inevitable. But, we don't see the 'break up' thing as a solution for our problem. It only makes us stronger instead."

Alexa is right. Fights within a relationship is really inevitable. How I wish that it made us stronger instead.

"Are you willing to give again or give up?" Diane asked. "Because if you want to give again, you have to forgive. But if you want to give up, you have to forgive and forget in order to heal and grow."

"Wow, Diane," I chuckled. "How'd you know about that? You're the only one who's never involved herself in any serious relationship."

"Duh, Francine." Diane rolled her eyes. "I may be single but I am not naive."

I chuckled and sniffle at the same time.

"Yeah." Sandy agreed. "Listen France, you can't live with that painful memory if you are going to give up the relationship, you know, you have to forget. It's hard yeah, but sooner you'll get over it just like the other heartbreaks you've been through."  Sandy stroke my hair softly.