The Etiquette of Smoking

Yeah Right

For the first time in a long time, I didn't feel older than I was. If anything, I felt younger, like a teenager doing something I wasn't supposed to...but it was fun.

When Joji brought me back home last night, he'd walked me up to my door and made sure I got back inside alright before stepping back down the steps and nearly tripping. His foot slipping off the bottom step before he caught himself on the rail and grinned at me.

"I'll see you." He told me, shoving his hands into his pants pockets and making his way back to the car. I stood for a moment in the open doorway, watching him drive away until he completely disappeared. When I eventually did manage to drag myself upstairs and inside my apartment, I bit my lip to keep the shriek that threatened to spill out and wake Gavin and the entire building.

After collecting myself, I quietly made my way to the kitchen where there was a single flower vase stored under the sink. I filled the vase with water and unwrapped the flowers, placing them inside the vase. I set them on the window sill above the sink where they could get the most sunlight. Beautiful, full roses, vibrant and full of promise inside of a glass vase that hadn't been filled in nearly 2 years. I briefly considered the fact that Gavin might take notice of them and ask questions... but I couldn't stand the thought of letting George's beautiful gift die. When I got my lily back from him, I'd be sure to give it the best chance at surviving as well.

I went to bed feeling conflicted. The giddiness overwhelmed everything else, but there was still the underlying nagging of guilt and fear that stirred inside.

I went to work the next night like normal, excited to see my friends and ready to apologize for my absence. After the incident at home, I didn't push my luck with Gavin as far as work or... anything really. He said nothing as I walked out the door, so I assumed his comment about my not being allowed to work at 88 anymore was just another one of the nasty things he said but didn't mean. We hadn't spoken all that much since he'd apologized. I could tell he wanted to move on from it all, so I didn't bring it up either. He was never great at apologies; the small one I got the other day was more than I had expected from him and was all I would get.

Everyone welcomed me back from my minor interval and we all fell back into routine like normal. I caught Niki up on everything that happened but refused to let her take the blame even though she tried. She apologized adamantly anyway and promised never to leave me in the care of Max and Ian again. I had to laugh at that. I decided, however, that I was best not to mention anything about my home life to Niki or the boys. The last thing I wanted was to attract more attention to Gavin or myself. So, when Niki had asked why the need for my break, I used the assault at the shop as the reason, which it was...partially. It was a packed week, that's for sure, but the little bit of sunshine that was getting me through it was currently smiling and waving at me from across the room.

I returned home from work on Sunday night, exhausted after a busy night waiting packed tables and getting beer spilled on me by a woman who thought I was flirting with her boyfriend. I was grumpy, to say the least, as I walked through the front door of my apartment. My feet hurt, I had a mild headache, and a damp shirt that reeked of alcohol.

The first thing I saw was Gavin sitting on the couch in our living room with a controller in his hands and a grimace on his face. Great. I sighed quietly, slipping my sneakers off at the door and closing it behind me. Gavin looked up only briefly before returning his gaze to the television.

"Hey, get me another drink babe." The request wasn't malicious and I knew that but oh did it irk me. The coffee table in front of him already had 3 empty bottles which told me he'd only just started.