The Etiquette of Smoking

Equilibrium

"I know Halloween kinda sucked and I'm really sorry for it, but maybe we can do something fun today." Niki smiled gently at me as she drove us back over the bridge. I looked out the window at the slowly moving clouds that filled the sky. I swear, every day so far was as dreary as I felt.

"Sure." I agreed halfheartedly.

"Okay... what are we thinking? Maybe bowling? Or dinner somewhere nice?"

I tilted my head toward her, watching her tuck her brunette locks behind her ear as she focused on the road in front of us. Her ears held many piercings from the lobe to the upper helix. Tiny diamonds and butterfly jewels stuck in her skin, sparkling at me.

"I know you don't want to hear it, but I'm genuinely sorry for everything. You deserved that record deal, not to get stuck taking care of me." I said, catching her off guard. Her smile faded and her real feelings flashed across her face. She looked sad. She pushed it down quickly, looking away from me.

"You're right, I don't want to hear it cause you have nothing to be sorry for." She said, lifting her hand from the steering wheel to reach over for mine. I held her hand and squeezed to let her know I meant it. She squeezed back but didn't look back over at me again.

"Anyway, what are we doing?" She changed the subject just as we got off the bridge. I knew she wouldn't linger on the subject, but as long as she knew how I felt, I would let her move on.

"My nails are kinda fucked up," I frowned, holding my hands up to my face and inspecting the torn skin around my nailbeds. "Maybe we can--?"

"Yes!"

There wasn't much the poor nail tech could do for me. Any kind of product too close to the wounds on my fingers hurt like hell so she painted as gently as she could, often times not even covering the entire nail for fear of getting the polish too close. I went with gray for the gloomy weather outside and my newly found emo phase. Niki chose neon yellow. My fingernails were cut short to prevent me from fucking with my cuticles again and the nail tech scolded me viciously about it.

When we got back to the apartment, we agreed on take out and a movie. She ordered pizza and I picked out the movie.

It went alright. I tried to focus on the movie but my thoughts kept getting pulled back to earlier this morning when I was telling Kevin about my parents. I remember not so long ago missing my mom and wishing I could fly home to see her, but that was only in comparison to life with Goblin. Anything would've been a better option.

I was watching a guy get cut in half by a chainsaw on screen when Niki groaned beside me.

"Fuck, I'm out." She grimaced, looking away from the TV and picking up her plate to take to the kitchen. I grinned at her reaction and continued chewing on the crust of my 2nd slice. Joji didn't have a weak stomach, he could handle stuff like this. He'd probably laugh.

Niki returned, plopping down on the couch beside me and turning away from the TV to scroll through her phone instead.

"So, I was thinking..." I began slowly, watching Niki's eyes shift up toward my face.

"No, you can't have a dog." She glared at me and then back down at her phone. I scoffed at her reaction before sitting up and tossing the rest of my pizza crust on top of the box.

"That's not what I was going to ask, but go ahead and keeps scarring me!" I feigned hurt, jutting my lip out. "You know, for some people an emotional support puppy--"

Niki looks utterly unamused as she pulled the phone away from her face and held her hand up in the space between us.

"What were you actually thinking?" She rolled her eyes at me. I smiled a little at the banter, it reminded me of the boy's frequent squabbles.