The Etiquette of Smoking

Sanctuary

This chapter is dedicated to everyone who's ever felt the pain associated with mental illness, whether it be from a friend, a loved one, or yourself who struggles with it. You are so fucking loved. You are cared about, you are precious, and you have value. Please keep breathing, please, I love you so much, beautiful human soul.

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Spendin' all my nights alone, waitin' for you to call me

You're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep

Tell me what I'm waitin' for

Tell me what I'm waitin' for

I know it's hard but we need each other

Know it's hard but we need each other

I rounded the corner and the boys' apartment finally came into view. Tiny snowflakes trickled down around me, too small to stick to the ground and melting quickly after meeting my clothing. I waited for a few cars to pass before jogging lightly to the other side of the street. I could see the lights on in their apartment, though that didn't necessarily mean they were home. It should be past the time Niki would've gotten home, so Joji and the others should be too.

If she discovered I was missing, she'd likely already be on her way here. Theres really only one place I could've gone but I hoped she wouldn't check my room and just assume I was sleeping.

The music acted like the background to a movie as I approached the building in front of me. The only difference is this likely wouldn't end very well when I was caught and dragged back to Kevin for more psychotherapy.

Regardless, I swallowed the lump in my throat as I moved to the side of the apartment that I knew held George's room. My eyes scanned the ground, and I walked around for a bit until I found what I was looking for. Tiny pebbles collected in my hand, and when I thought I had enough, I gathered my courage and pulled back my best throwing arm.

I swung and the first pebble missed completely, falling flat before it could even reach his window. I cursed quietly and tried again, pulling my arm back and throwing the rock harder. That one made contact with a window, but rather the one just below Joji's, belonging to his downstairs neighbor. I cringed and waited a moment to see if the resident would look outside but luckily after a minute there was nothing.

I continued, choosing another pebble and flinging it as hard as I could at Joji's window and failing every time.

"Fuck how did he do this? I suck." I grumbled as I looked for more small rocks.

Nineth times the charm, I tried again, pulling my arm back, aiming at the desired window and letting the rock fly.

Tap

"Yes!" I celebrated too loudly, immediately shutting my mouth and looking around for any signs anyone hear me. I bit my lip, smiling in my triumph.

I tried again, throwing pebbles at the window over and over, sometimes failing miserably, but still I persisted.

Tap

Tap

Tap

Finally, there was a response when a shadowy figure came to the window and stared down at me. The lights were off in the room but I knew it was his. My heart raced as I stared up at the figure and suddenly it was hard to breathe. I swallowed the saliva in my mouth and pulled my earbuds from my ears.