The Etiquette of Smoking

Feel My Rage

Joji suffered four joint dislocations in his fist, a gash in his bottom lip, several cuts and bruises covering his face, neck, chest, and stomach. He needed 27 stitches total.

I sat by his bedside as the doctor injected local anesthetic and carefully sewed dissolvable stitches into his lip. I cringed at the sight of the doctor pulling tight on the string and yanking Joji's lip with it. I watched quietly, my gaze shifting from the doctor's work to George's face. He had bandaged knuckles and deepening purple bags beneath one eye. His lip was the worst of it, but he hadn't complained. In fact, he hadn't said more than two words to anyone since we arrived at the hospital.

I couldn't bring myself to say anything first. What could I say? What happened wasn't necessarily my fault but I couldn't help but blame myself regardless. None of it would've happened had I not brought Gavin around in the first place.

When the doctor left and the nurses settled George down in bed with pain killers, an uncomfortable tension fell between us. The door closed and the low volume of the box television mounted on the wall was the only sound in the room. I stared at it, unhearing, as I tried to think of something to say to him. Two women strode around a rotating display of shiny jewelry. Big red numbers flashed at the bottom of the screen, along with the price and an obnoxious 'CALL NOW!' banner.

Slowly my head tilted to the side, taking in the sight of George as subtly as I could. His eyes were closed as his chest rose and fell with his even breaths. I couldn't imagine how worn out he must be.

"Joji." I whispered, testing for a response. A single eye cracked open, gazing back at me as he awaited my next words. I grabbed my injured hand, feeling the gauze that was wrapped around my knuckles that I'd cut punching Gavin. The injuries were miniscule compared to Joji's.

"I'm so s--" I began before he cut me off by holding up his hand.

"Don't," His voice was rough and gravely, similar to his morning voice... or his Frank one. "It wasn't your fault."

My throat tightened. It was exactly what I expected him to say and I hated it. His record deal was gone. His chances with Sean and the investors were gone. Because of me. I refused to accept anything other than the fact that his life would be better off without me. It's the only thought I had on the drive here and the only thought I had now. I just wondered when he would see it too.

"Do you want some water?" I asked, standing from my seat and moving over to the rolling table by the foot of his bed where the nurse had left a jug of ice water and cups for George. I poured a cup of water and brought it to him, where he took it and sat up with a grunt.

"Thanks." He mumbled as he rose the cup to his lips and took heavy gulps until it was all gone. I took the empty cup, placing it back down on the table and walking back around to my seat. We sat in mostly silence except for the tv chatter. We would eventually need to talk about what happened and my role in it. What I was going to do about Gavin now to ensure he stays out of mine and my friends' lives. Where he and Niki go from here as far as their careers.

God, Niki.

I haven't spoken to her since the audition. She must be devasted.

Joji's soft snores filled the room and I looked over at him. He didn't have that peaceful look he normally sported while sleeping; instead his brows were furrowed and a slight frown covered his face. I copied his look, saddened at the events of the day that caused him to look anguished even in his sleep.

I stood from my seat and left the room, closing the door softly behind me. Hoping to speak to Niki before she went to bed for the night, I pulled my phone from my pocket and put in my password. My finger slid over the screen as I scrolled through my contacts.