The Etiquette of Smoking

Catch the Sun

"We've got a date!" Niki cheered, waving the paper in front of my face. Baffled, I pulled back, my eyes shifting between her excited grin and the wildly flapping paper in her hands.

"Oh, you got another date with Brian?" I smirked, making her brows furrow in confusion and then annoyance.

"No! The audition date! Look!" She cried, hopping from foot to foot and making it even more impossible for me to read. I huffed, snatching the paper from her fingers quickly and holding it steady for my inspection.

Indeed, she was correct. The paper directly addressed Niki and provided details for her upcoming audition with the new investors. This Friday at 7pm at the Blues Hall in New York City.

"Please decide on a set list of one to three songs that boast the different ranges of your vocal and/or production talent." I read out loud from the letter. Niki squealed and grabbed onto my arms.

"Exactly, do you hear that?! What do I pick? You have to help me decide!" She was ecstatic, bouncing around the room with joy I hadn't seen from her in a while. Despite how I have been feeling, my smile was genuine.

"Of course I will." My answer delighted her and that delighted me.

Today, I called Ethan to let him know I wasn't coming back to work. The conversation went about as expected. He was surprised but wished me the best and that was that. I had no desire to go back to work at the club anymore, honestly. As fun as it was working with my friends and as entirely grateful as I was to them and Ethan for even allowing me to have that experience, I knew it was over now.

It was time to move on, career wise. I would be starting school soon and sort out my plans from there.

Niki was sad but supportive. It wasn't like I'd be leaving her apartment any time soon so she moved on quickly from the news but it definitely was strange for the both of us. Long were the nights serving alcohol to people already drunk off their ass. Tearing dancing patrons off of the bar counter and getting creepy comments about the tightness of our shirts. I would miss working with my friends but they were working on their futures as well and all good things come to an end eventually, right?

It was a little uncomfortable having the conversation with Niki about the audition only because we both knew I wouldn't be able to attend but she said she would call the doctor to ask.

"It's alright dude, just do your best and let me know how it went." I assured her with a hug. She gave a weak smile in return but nodded in understanding. She had no reason to be sorry or feel uncomfortable, all of this was temporary anyway.

"Any more dreams?" Kevin asked curiously when we sat down Friday morning. I blew air out of my mouth with a rumble and nodded while plopping down on the couch.

"You know it." I pulled my legs up onto the couch and tucked them underneath me, making myself comfortable. He crossed his legs, letting one rest over his knee and jiggling his foot.

"Have you been handling them well?" He meant, of course, using the techniques he taught me at our last meeting that included journaling the dreams, instituting a sleeping schedule that allowed me to get enough rest, and sleeping with comfort objects. I shrugged.

"As well as I can, I guess." I answered nonchalantly. I was finding it hard lately to really care about much, especially not about myself. It just felt empty, like I was watching life happen through hollow eyes. All of my anger and sadness faded until there was nothing left.