A world without you

Chapter 46 ~ Hiccup's POV

Astrid lay in her bed pale and tired. Every now and then she turned to the side and coughed blood into a rag. This was one of her worse days, which meant that it was one of my worse days too. She ate the soup I had brought her slowly. Then she looked at me suspiciously.
"Have you eaten anything today, Hiccup?"
I tried to hide the truth in my eyes as I answered
"Yes." She raised an eyebrow and then shook her head.
"You need to take care of yourself when I'm sick, remember?" She smiled. I chuckled.
"So you remember that. Me and my big mouth."
"Too late now. So listen to your own advice for once, Hiccup. Eat." She had that look in her eyes that said that if I didn't do as she said I would regret it very much. And something else behind it that she didn't say because she knew it would hurt me too much to think about it. She didn't just mean now, she meant after she was gone.
It was a knife in my heart. It had been there ever since Viggo took her but I forgot it for a while. Though it was painfully present now.
I knew that Astrid was close to giving up. But she wasn't afraid of death. She was only scared of leaving me alone.
Someone twisted the knife in my heart again.
I couldn't give up. I had to find the scourge. The others were already away searching. The only ones who stayed here were Fishlegs and Mom, who Gothi had taught everything she knew about the trick of Loki.
"You're leaving again, aren't you?" Astrid asked. I nodded.
"I wish I could help. I hate just lying here." She sighed.
"The more you rest, the more time you're giving us. You can't get worse." The last bit was more pleading than I wanted but I couldn't help it. She took my hand and squeezed it. 
"I love you." She said and put so much feelings into her words that they felt like a warm embrace that stayed in my heart for hours. I knew that it was exactly what she intended them to do. I kissed her.
"I love you too." Then I walked out.
It was a thing we had started when Astrid started to get sick more, we never said goodbye. Instead we always said "I love you" when one of us left. That way we would always know that the last words we said to each other were the ones we wanted to say the most.

Mom waited outside. She gave me a hug and wished me good luck. Toothless were already ready to leave. So we did.
Though three weeks had passed since we found out about The trick of Loki we had found nothing.

I had flown for hours when I saw land.
A field of green grass and some flowers reached out in front of me. It was completely plain except for a few Tumulus' .
I knew that you shouldn't walk into one of the graves but I had to, for Astrid.
And luckily that I did because in there I found all my answers.