I Fell Inlove With my Best Friend

Prologo

The sun was setting, casting an orange glow on the streets as I stood there, face flushed from the tears. The place was quiet, the sound of a distant car engine humming in the background, a soft breeze brushing against my cheeks. But inside, everything felt like it was crashing.

"Ang tanga-tanga ko naman para maramdaman ko 'to, sa'yo!" I shouted, my voice echoing off the empty buildings around us. My hands were shaking, fists clenched in frustration. "Alam mo ba kung bakit? Because I'm in love with my best friend! Pero manhid ka! Hindi mo maramdaman!" I couldn't stop the tears now, they just kept falling, sliding down my cheeks and soaking into my shirt.

He just stared at me. His eyes were wide, like he was searching for a clue, a sign, or maybe something to say. His lips parted, but no words came out, just the quiet sound of his breathing. His brow was furrowed, and for a moment, I thought maybe—just maybe—he finally understood. But his silence cut deeper than anything else. It was like he was still in his own world, unable to hear me. The same world I had always felt I didn't belong to.

I took a deep breath, my chest heavy with the weight of everything I had been holding in. "Bakit hindi mo maramdaman? Ha?!" I shouted again, my voice now a mixture of anger and pain, my hands weakly pushing at his chest. "Manhid ka na ba? O bulag? Sabihin mo nga! Wala ka bang napapansin? Kahit konting reaksyon?! Lahat ng pangako mo, hindi mo tinutupad! Tuwing sinasabi mong babawi ka, hindi mo naman ginagawa!" My voice cracked as the words spilled out in a rush, everything I had kept inside for so long flooding to the surface. "Kung hindi mo rin lang kayang tuparin, sana hindi ka na lang nangako!"

He still didn't move. His expression was almost vacant, like he was processing what I said, but couldn't find the right way to respond. And that silence, that awful silence, made it worse.

"Samantalang kapag sila, mga kakilala mo lang, nag-aaya, ang bilis mo! Akala mo ba mas masaya ka kasama sila kaysa sa akin?" I turned away for a second, trying to catch my breath, wiping my tears on my sleeve. My chest was tightening. I could feel the ache spreading from my heart, each breath feeling like it was tearing me apart. "Tanggap ko naman na gusto mo silang kasama, sila ang bago mong mga kaibigan. Pero paano naman ako? Yung unang naging kaibigan mo? Kakalimutan mo na ba ako?"

I wasn't sure if he heard me anymore. The world felt like it was spinning too fast around me. I could see the faint glow of streetlights flicker on as the night crept in. The sound of our footsteps on the gravel echoed between us as I slowly stepped back, each step feeling heavier than the last. "Alam ko naman, kahit hindi ko sabihin 'tong nararamdaman ko, iiwan mo pa rin ako. Magaling ka sa ganyan, sa pang-iiwan. Pero ngayon, mas madali na kasi may dahilan ka na."

Finally, he spoke. His voice was low, but there was a certain finality in it that sent a chill down my spine. "Hindi naman ganun, Lianna. Pero... gusto ko na siya. Ngayon pa lang kami nagkakilala, pero may mga bagay akong nagustuhan sa kanya."

My whole body went numb. There it was—the truth. The one I was terrified to hear. I blinked hard, the tears already threatening to spill again, but this time, I was too tired to cry.

I laughed, but it was bitter, a dry sound that barely escaped my lips. "Sana sinabi mo na lang agad, para hindi ako umaasa." My voice broke as I turned my back to him. "Hindi ka naman magkakagusto sa'kin, diba? Kaibigan mo lang ako." My hands trembled as I clutched the straps of my backpack. "Well... that's all I needed to hear. Alis na ako, bro. Ingat ka."

I turned to leave, but I felt his hand grab my arm.

"Lianna, hindi ko ibig sabihin na ganon," sabi niya, medyo malambot ang boses. "Ayokong mawalan ka ng tiwala sa'kin. Ayokong mawala ka."

"Pero bakit hindi mo sinabi agad? Bakit hinayaan mo pa akong umasa?" sagot ko, mahina na ang boses ko. "Ngayon, nakakausap na kita, pero parang masyado na late."

Tumahimik siya, parang hindi makapagsalita, pero alam kong nag-iisip siya. "Lianna, hindi ko alam kung ano ang nararamdaman ko, pero gusto ko parin na nandiyan ka."

I looked at him, and I saw the pain in his eyes. "Well, if you care, then why didn't you notice? Why didn't you realize how I feel? Hindi ko na kayang maghintay pa."

"I never meant to hurt you," he said softly, almost like a whisper. "I'm sorry."

I looked down, not wanting to meet his eyes. "You don't need to apologize. I just... I just need you to understand that it hurts."

He reached out again, but I took a step back, not ready for his touch. "Lianna, please don't go. I don't want you to leave. I don't want to lose you."

"You won't lose me," I said, my voice still trembling. "I'll still be here. I'll still be your friend. But that's all I can be now."

He stared at me, and I could see the conflict in his eyes. He wanted to say something, but I knew it wouldn't change anything.

"Okay," he finally said, his voice breaking. "I understand. I'll respect that."

I turned around and started walking away. I felt his eyes on me, but I didn't look back. As I walked, I felt something inside me breaking, but it was something I had to accept. This was the reality now. No matter how much I cared for him, I would never be more than just his friend.

My heart was heavy, but it was more than just sadness. It was the painful realization that all this time, I had been fooling myself. The streetlights blinked on as the dusk deepened into night. I kept walking, my footsteps soft on the pavement. I didn't even know where I was going anymore. I just needed to get away from him. From everything. Because now, there was no denying it. He wasn't mine. And he never would be.

I stopped in the middle of the street, looking up at the night sky. It was as if the universe had decided to put me in this place, at this moment, and I couldn't change it. The stars, so far and so distant, reflected the space between us now. I knew I would keep loving him—Alexander Ryan Valdez—no matter how much it hurt. He was my best friend, and I was in love with him.

But that's all I would ever be, a friend. And I had to accept that.

I started to walk again, trying to clear the overwhelming emotion in my chest. As I turned the corner, I saw him out of the corner of my eye—he was still standing there, watching me leave. He hadn't moved, like he was still processing what I said. But he didn't run after me. He didn't call me back.

And as I walked away, I knew the pain of loving him would linger, but it would be mine to carry, quietly, in the shadow of our friendship.

TO BE CONTINUE.