Pulse ✓

Epilogue

Dear Jimin.

I'm sorry.

So many things have happened between us. I thought we would get through this just like we always do. But I can't, I can't sit with you knowing that you are hiding things from me. I always preached to you that I was never going to judge you. That I was going to be there for you.

But I'm going to break that promise and for that. I am so sorry.

I love you, so fucking much that my heart breaks at the thought of never being with you. The image of me being away from you makes me uneasy and so anxious, you have no idea. But then I remember what you hid from me...and it made me wonder.

What else could you be hiding from me?

I am too scared to find out. I am terrified that if I look into your eyes one more time I will forgive you and then your past will be thrown in my face again. I trusted you with everything in me, you are my protector, you are my lover. You fought for me, broke your walls down for me - and for that, I will always be grateful.

However, this isn't the reason why I'm writing to you instead of telling you what going on face to face. You know I express myself better when writing. Tonight I came to come to see you.

Just one last time before I leave.

After everything that has happened, I have spoken to my parents as well as Jennie - and we have made a massive decision to move. For my safety and education. I will be leaving Korea with no desire to come back. Please don't think my main reason for leaving is you because that's not the case.

I've almost died in the hands of the people in Seoul on multiple occasions and no matter what, I have this grown fear within me that I will die. It's taking such a massive role in breaking down my mental health and I've never had the opportunity to tell you that because that fear always disappeared whenever I was with you.

I felt safe with you.

Safe...

When I first met you, I would have never thought that being your presence was going to trigger me to feel at home. After everything you have been through, you have every right to do what did. You and I were put in a world where we were unwanted, people have always hated us without trying to get to know us but I just want to say one thing that I think it's crucial for you to hear before I leave.

You are not a Monster.

Your mother was wrong, so wrong about you. You've made mistakes, Jimin, but so has she. For her to throw her guilt on you like that is stupid and unhealthy. Being with you showed me a side of you that you have never shown anyone else.

Who cares if you don't have a pulse?

You have way more heart, way more love, way more life that she could never have, and for that - I will always cherish you.

But maybe it's time we both start fresh. We both need a life of no apprehension. I am exhausted, so tired of everything and I just need a break. Maybe one day I will come and visit you.

Maybe one day I will tell you where I am just so you can come to be with me. Things will never be the same but I look forward to what the future looks like. I know we should be facing our problems together.

Trust me, I know.

But I'm not ready. Baby, I'm really not ready. It's all so new, so fresh that I still cry about it all the time. I know it's selfish, but I needed this last night with you. I needed to be with you one last time before I transition across the planet.

I am on a plane right now. I will be climbing it right about the time you start snoring. I'm going to miss it so much.

Chim, I beg of you. As I leave for a new journey ahead of us - I beg of you. To keep growing as a person. You've grown so much over the last few months that I'm still so proud of you. Don't let the world break that, don't let them hurt you the way they hurt me.

I've left a few gifts for you. And I might've stolen one...or five hoodies.

I just texted you, I will never forgive myself after tonight...but I'm doing it for me, I need to be selfish just this one time. I love you so much - please never forget that.

I will see you soon, stay strong Jimin.

Love You Always

Y/n

~

Jimin's tears stain the paper, his hand grips his hair harshly as he suddenly looks at the bag which belonged to you. To believe you thought you would stay the night. He thought that you guys will finally be able to fix things - but you were gone. His hands rummage through your belongings, taking it out your hoodie with a bottle of your perfume.

He holds the material, bringing it close to his nose. Skrewing his eyes shut as a loud sob leaves his lips. The familiar scent was sweet, the cocoa butter smell reminded him of you. But it was the same.

Having a hoodie was not the same as having you.

Jimin feels something hard fall on his lap, the wooden two-piece frame feels heavy. He sniffles loudly, putting your pink hoodie aside. Allowing his hands to open the frame in a book-like manner.

My body with you, feels like home.
Close to yours in such a way that it leaves me breathless.
At moments like this, I so desperately wished I had a heart.

Just so I can give it to you.

~
The end. I will be doing a story analysis, just to explain why Y/n left and etc. If you guys want me to answer questions concerning characters then I'll happily do so. Or if you have a question of a character, they will gladly answer. I hope you guys actually have questions because I don't want to feel I'm talking to brick wall lmao. I have so many silent readers rip💔.

But thank you for reading! See you in my other books ( I hope) byeeeeeeee

AMELIAESTHETICS