Louder Than Bombs

Chapter 31: Outside

*somewhat edited*

JK's POV

It seems like I JUST told Taehyung that I like him romantically and now we're not even speaking. It's been almost a week since I told him that I can't be doing what we were doing and the fallout has not been pretty. If the screams from the Jin lookalike stayed in my head for days then Taehyung begging me to stay with him is permanently engraved into my mind. His face just looked so broken...

Fuck Jungkook...stop..you had to

As far as things go with the mob, a few days ago we got a hidden message from Yeonjun, who figured out that we were being blackmailed into giving them away, and has decided to help as much as possible. That sent the whole mob into a frenzy seeing as the last time we had a double agent...well I'm sure you haven't forgotten how Kai turned out. We tried telling him that we don't need another informant but he didn't listen and is now sending us coded messages about what's happening with Chan and JiU. Apparently she wants to meet with me in a week at her base and I would be lying if I said that I'm not the slightest bit nervous. I've seen how she can play dirty and really get under people's skin with just her words.

It's like 2 in the morning and I can't sleep which is common as of late, Nayeon is out like a light so I decide to go get some tea. The days that I've spent here have been reassuring me that I made the right decision cutting things off with Tae. Nayeon seemed so excited when I told her that I wanted to stay over here...well that's because I told her it's basically like practice for when we move in together, which honestly I hadn't really thought about moving in with her until recently. It wouldn't be such a bad thing for me, I could really give Tae his space and her house isn't too far from the base so it's an easy commute. I just don't know how the others would take the news if I did decide to move in with her, especially Taehyung...at that point I feel like he would hate me.

I put the water on for the tea and take out my phone to pass the time. I like the last couple of posts from Yugyeom and Mingyu on instagram before receiving a message..

Baby Bear💜: Jungkook? Are you awake?

I can't respond...

It's been happening since I left and fuck I feel so bad. Taehyung can't sleep most nights without someone to comfort him so he texts me but I can't respond...we'll end up right back where we started and I really can't force myself to break it off with him a second time so I just ignore them but he knows I see them and sends more anyway

Baby Bear💜: I need you..I can't sleep..I keep having the nightmares...

I pull up my notes and write the responses I would give him if I could text him back..it's a coping mechanism to help me control the urge to text him back

Notes:

Yes, baby I'm awake...I know you can't sleep and I wish I was there to hold you until you fell asleep in my arms but I can't because I fucked up...just remember that you're not back there, you are safe. Turn on the lights to see if it helps.

Baby Bear💜: I need you Jungkook, nothing is working...I can't sleep and Lucas can't come over to help.. I feel like I'm right back there..please...even a phone call would help me sleep