Louder Than Bombs

Chapter 37: Fear

*unedited*

A/N: there is a short smut scene...it's not Taekook tho so skip it if you are uncomfortable with it, butttt there are certain things in there that you might want to know for plot purposes. 

JK's P.O.V

Over the last week not much happened, the camera in Joon's room was hidden so he wouldn't find it..I feel like shit for doing it but I can't let more people get hurt. Right now I'm in the gym to get my reps in before the meeting that Joon called for this morning. Things with Taehyung are still very awkward, every time I go to do something that we used to do he gives me this pleading look and it just makes me realize how much I hurt him..I put down the weights when I see Jimin walk through the glass doors. Now, Jimin has been one to express his disgust for our situation but we haven't actually been alone since me and Tae cut things off...

"Hey Jimin.."

I look at him move to the machine next to me and he still doesn't say a word, which is only kicking up my anxiety..

"Jungkook."

I turn to face him head on as a cue for him to continue with what ever lecture he has stored up

"I just need to ask you something..it's about Taehyung obviously.."

I nod and he clears his throat

"Did you ever see yourself being with him? Like for real?"

I'm a little taken back, I was looking for a 'don't you care about anyone but yourself'

Of course...if things were different I would be up there with him now not wanting to get out of bed because I wouldn't want to leave the warmth of him..but I can't sound that whipped in front of Jimin

"Yeah, I have thought about being with him like being boyfriends with him..."

"So what's stopping you? I mean yes Nayeon but you could break up with her...I've seen the way you look at him, the way you treated him when you guys were in that situation..and I know that you were just as upset about breaking things off so what's going on?"

I take the hand towel and wipe the sweat dripping from my face to my neck

"Wait why? I didn't think that you'd be talking this calmly with me..."

He releases a heavy sigh before sitting on the bench for the bench press

"Whether or not I like it we're still good friends bitch...and I care about you just as much as I care about Tae..I hate seeing you two upset.."

I send him a soft smile

"I think it's fear...I grew up having a certain picture in my head of what a perfect life is for me and I'm fine with people being gay, pan, and so on but I just never thought that I'd be anything but straight so that's why I keep Nayeon, I mean that and I love her.."

He nods

"I don't think you love her in the way you think..."

Huh?

"What do you mean?"

He looks at me for a second before placing his hand on my shoulder

"You have to figure that out...I can't tell you how to feel but just think about how you treat them both.."

He stands up to leave

"Oh and the Bangtan meeting is starting sooo LET'S GO BITCH!"

I chuckle and follow him to Joon's office