Louder Than Bombs

Chapter 33: Point Of View pt.1

*so unedited*

Tae's P.O.V

Both of us were seated on the bed, not looking at each other for fear of being the first to be vulnerable..

"Do you want to start from the beginning?"

Jungkook was the first to speak, but his tone was hushed as if speaking too loudly would shatter the room.

"Sure..I'll tell my side first"

He nods and I start thinking to myself where it all really began..

For Kook it started when he heard me that night but for me it started way before then

"I know that the whole reason you initially started being interested in me was because of that day but for me..I've always been somewhat attracted to you...since the first day when you walked into the house and Namjoon introduced you to all of us it was apparent that I was going to be close to you. I would always try to talk to you but you were pretty shy when you first got here, you wouldn't even change in the room...I thought that was cute but eventually you started getting more comfortable with us and it was amazing..your smile was so bright and would be the cutest thing ever to me..I could feel my heart warm when you would come to me about silly things. I just loved being around you..but then you started talking to Nayeon and I could tell that you really liked her..that bothered me, more than it should have..I didn't tell you that I had feelings for you like how I wanted to on your 20th birthday because you were so into her I didn't want to confuse you. That didn't stop me from trying to get closer to you though. I remember this one night specifically...I was having a nightmare and I kept crying, I thought I was quiet but you hear me and cuddled me back to sleep, you didn't leave when I was asleep either-"

"I remember that too, you were so shaken up by it, I didn't know what else to do..."

He turns to me and moves closer to me, grabbing my hands for comfort so I can continue...

He's always been my rock..

"The next morning I told you about how my mom locked me in a closet during one of her episodes and I didn't know when I was going to see the light again...I was in there for days and I couldn't do anything but sob to myself so when you told me that you would be there for me at any time when I need you to hold me it was just fueling the feelings that I already had for you. The nights we spent cuddling, before this whole situation, really helped me but it also made me continuously wonder what it would be like to have you all to myself...looking back at it it probably wasn't the healthiest way to go about things but I didn't care..so with that being said when you came to me wanting to have sex I was elated..I tried to not show it because I knew it was wrong because you're with Nayeon but I needed to know what it was like to be with you and slowly that guilt that I had started fading away..and I didn't care once again about anything else but having you all to myself even if that meant being a side piece..I just wanted to keep that happiness as long as possible."

I look down at our interlocked hands and release a heavy sigh

"But obviously, things never go the way you want them to..we started arguing and every time it would hurt me when you'd say things like 'I don't love you like I love Nayeon' it hurt me more than I thought it would...I wish it didn't so we could still be best friends and not have all of this fuckery going on but we chose to do what we did..."

I look back up at Jungkook's red tinted face and I can feel the tears tickling my eyes but I swallow my imaginary spit to keep my emotions from spilling out

"I'm falling for you Jungkook and I wish I wasn't because I know it's a lost cause and you'll just end up with Nayeon.."

He looks away to pull himself together I'm guessing

"I don't expect you to fall in love with me...at least get to being friends I just need you in my life.."

He sniffles and blinks a couple of times before turning to me

"I want to tell my side now ok?"

I nod and wait for him to start

~

JK's P.O.V

Where do I even begin?

It's already hard because I can feel my emotions bubbling up and I don't know how much longer I can keep them pent up

"Ok so I know you believe that I only became interested when I heard you that day..but I have always been attracted to you Tae, I just never thought I was anything other than straight so thinking that my best friend is cute or sexy never crossed my mind as gay or anything else. I always think to myself how cute you are or how adorable you can be. So when I did hear you I decided to test the waters with you, I mean if not with my best friend than with who? But I wasn't taking into consideration your feelings when we really became intimate, I was being selfish and delusional to think that this would work. I guess in many ways we both had the same mentality but that wasn't the right way to go about it..and trust me I'm going to talk to Nayeon and tell her everything.."

His eyes lock with mine and a shocked expression is clear

"I need to come clean to her, what does it look like coming clean to you but not her?"

He pulls his hands away from mine and inches away from me

"I want to be honest with the people and that includes her Taehyung..."

It was silent for awhile and I didn't expect him to stand up but he does

"Jungkook...I respect your decision to tell Nayeon and even to be with her.."

He pauses and moves closer to where I'm sitting..

"But I just..I just need one more night with you..."

Jungkook.exe has stopped working

I couldn't even process what he was saying because I already had the notion that this would end in tears so I was completely shocked when he said this..

"Just one more time..then i-it's done I swear I won't bother you again a-and we can sleep separately and I'll let you be with Nayeon I swear..."

He gets on his knees and starts massaging my inner thighs and despite the somber mood I can feel my pants tightening

"T-Taehyung...fuck, I can't.."

He doesn't listen though just moves his hand upward now palming my dick while unbuckling my pants

"I just need to feel you one more time, I need to cuddle with you one more time...please Kookie~"

His tone was whiny and I couldn't stop myself from nodding

Well so much for not kissing him..

~To be continued~

A/N: I'm sorry if it's short but this week has been hectic and I wanted to update..next chapter will be sad smut lol so prepare for that...love you all and thank you for reading

~Nilla💜