Ghost Girl // Lil Peep

32.

The couple stay in Long Island a few days after the reception, their friends head home but the serenity of being with Gus's family is too good to leave at the moment. Being here is like there own person rehab, there is no need for drugs but there is a niggling thought at the back of both their heads that they need them to feel normal. This thought wakes Mac up in the middle of the night, trying her hardest she can't get to back to sleep. She leaves Gus a note saying she has gone for a walk and heads out of the family home. After walking for what felt like hours she ends up a point overlooking the ocean, she feels at peace watching the sea. She sits watching it, getting a feeling she is closer to her lost ones than she has ever been, with this feeling she decides it is a good idea to talk to them about how she is feeling.

"I did it guys, I know you are all up there looking down on us, blessing me, blessing us. I married the love of my life. But why do I feel so fucking empty? *tears stream down her face* I miss you so fucking much, this isn't fair. I can't keep missing you it is breaking me down. I can't enjoy my marriage like I'm supposed to. He is eventually going to get fed up with this broken girl routine and leave me. I swear to god if that ever happens it is all y'all fault and I'll be joining you up there *she throws her middle finger up at the sky* Stop me from missing you please. I can't do it anymore. I beg you stop this feeling" She cries into the sleeve of Gus's hoodie when she feels an arm around her shoulder. She looks up tear filled eyes and there he is. When she needs him the most he is there, Gus sits down next to her, pulling her in for a cuddle. She cries into his chest. "Baby I miss them"

He strokes her hair as she cries at the loss of her loved ones "I know babygirl, It's ok. Let it out"

Eventually the tears stop and she looks up at him "How much of that did you hear?" Scared that he is going think he is the one making her feel like that.

"All of it boo, Look at me *He grabs her chin making eye contact* I am never going anywhere ok? We are a team, we are team down here and we are gonna be team when we get up there ok? *he points to the sky* Its normal to have all of these emotions when people you love die. Especially when you are as close to them as you were. We are going to get through this. I know you're not doing ok but I am right here babygirl" He kisses her.

"Thank you, I love you so much" She kisses him " How did you know I would be here?"

"I love you too babygirl. I am your Husband. I know how much you love the ocean, I know this is where you come to clear your head. It is going to get better, It'll never go away but It'll get better baby" He cuddles her, they sit on the cold ground watching the sunrise. What started out as a horrible morning turned into a beautiful one, the pair head back to the house arms around each other laughing and joking.

Peep has asked Mac to plan the next tour for him/ GBC after looking at the reach that his music is making, she makes some calls and knows it is possible for him to do an international tour. She is excited to break the news to him, this is a real progression in his career. Later that day Liza takes to them airport, she cries as she says goodbye to the happy couple. The serenity was officially over as they head back to toxic L.A, this was a place Mac used to call her happy place, her home but recently it is becoming more and more distant from her happy place and becoming more of a toxic energy. She thinks her and Peep would benefit from a move to London. She is seeing the effect of GBC on her love, he is becoming more emotionally drained from their inconsiderate efforts. It is not all of them but they do know that he would do anything, give anything to his friends. She loves his caring personality but he needs to be a bit more selfish with it. While they were in LI, Sarah sent him over a flashy contract to sign, Mac is still not happy about this venture but if Peep think this a good decision then she will back him 100%. Peep has agreed for the lawyer that looked after her dads contracts to look it over before he signs. So they know everything. She is worried Sarah is trying to persuade him with lots of money, hoping that will overlook any details in the contract.