My Forever - Nessa Barrett and Josh Richards

~Part 45~

A/N: i know the timeline is messed up I just put thing when i wanted them lol. Also 30K READS YALL ARE CRAZY! LOVE YOU ALL MWAH!! enjoyyyy

NESSAS POV

I snuck out of Joshs house in the morning and got an Uber back to my apartment. When I opened the door Addison was standing there. "Hey Nessa sorry the door was unlocked so I came in we have to go" she said quickly pulling me away. "Addi I gotta put some real clothes on first" I told her and she looked at me in my sweatshirt and shorts. "Where were you" she asked. "Joshs house" i said quietly.

"Oh my god your having ex sex damn I was not expecting that" she said laughing. "Haha yes very funny now I'm gonna get dressed and you can explain on the way to wherever your taking me" she nodded and sat down on my bed.

I just threw on a white cami crop top and purple and white tye-dye sweatpants. I straightened my hair trying to make myself look like messy and walked back out to Addison.

Once we were in the fruit mobile she started talking. "So were going to the D'amelios because Griffin cheated on Dixie" she blurted out. "Wait what the hell did you just say" I asked shocked. "Avani, Madi, Charli, Olivia, and Darianka are already there" she told me and I nodded. "So what did he do" I asked. "Snapped this gurl a bunch flirted with her, lied to dixie, and the girl told her everything when Dixie dmed her and asked her what happened" she explained. (Fun fact Be Happy started playing while I was writing this lmao)

"That son of a bitch" I said "preach" she agreed. We drove the rest of the way and when we walked in all the girls were sitting in a circle and I gave Dixie a big hug and she squeezed me back. "What did I do wrong" Dixie asked. "Absolutely nothing" Addison told her. "Dixie you can't blame yourself for his mistake he's an ass" I told her and everyone agreed.

We watched the office for a while and all just hung out when I got a text from Josh saying to come over. I told him I'd be there in a bit. I finished the episode and Madi and Avani has to leave too so we all said goodbye and I gave her another hug. "Your Dixie fucking D'amelio just remember that" I told her and she laughed.

I got to Josh's house and opened the door to see Caleb and Lauren on the couch. "Hi" I said. "NESSAAAAAA" lauren screamed as loud as she could and Caleb looked up at me and sprinted out fo the room with his phone.

"Oh shit I forgot he was live" lauren said while hugging me. "Your so stupid" I laughed and sat down next to her. I opened Instagram and all the fan pages were going crazy as was tik tok room. I kinda forgot they don't know we and Josh have gotten um closer over the past week or so.

"YOUVE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME" Josh screamed from upstairs and Lauren and I started dying. "damn Caleb you should have done track in high school" josh told him and we all agreed. "It will be fine it'll blow over" I told Josh and he raised his eyebrows. "Whatever you say"

Him and Caleb disappeared and Lauren asked me "so have you  and Josh done anything else lately" "um no no we haven't" I told her. "LIAR" she yelled sitting up. "Nessa why don't you just get back together" she asked me. "I don't know I just can't okay I don't know if it's the right time and besides it's like we get to start over. It's like the talking phase again. One day we'll maybe be together again but I just can't not yet" I told her. "What ever makes you happy" she smiled at me.

She was so damn sweet. This girl is a literal angel. "Wait Ness hows your song coming" she asked me. "It's done" she screeched and asked "when are you gonna release it" "well my team was talking about doing it on Thursday night and the music video Friday morning" I explained. "I think you should do it" she encouraged me.

I played it for her and she started crying "oh my god why are you crying" I said. "Because it's really good and I'm so proud of you" she said hugging me tight. "Lauren Im scared for Josh to hear it" I told her. "I just don't want him to feel bad for me cause I mean I've just been through so much and this song doesn't hide that" I explained.

"Yeah but wouldn't it be good for him to know" she said with sympathetic eyes. "I guess yeah" Maybe she's right. I'm gonna okay it for him soon. I have to.

I went home that night after spending the day with lauren mainly cause Josh was filming with Caleb.

OH MY GOD! I was supposed to go hang out with Thomas today. SHIT. I calle him . "Oh my gosh thomas Im so sorry Addison came and got me this morning to go see Dixie because of what happened with Griffin and it completely slipped my mind I'm so sorry" I said apologizing. "Nessa calm down I'm not mad just come over tomorrow at 11 I'll see you then okay?" He laughed. "Okay sounds good"

I went to bed thinking about how Josh would react to my song. Oh well it has to happen eventually.

*next morning*

I woke up at 9 and god ready ( the black outfit she wore in the video with Thomas when they took her to in and out) and ate some cereal. I left the house at 10:30 and got to the hype house and walked into Thomas and Mias room. I was talking to Ryland and Micheal and having a nice time.

"Wait so you've never had in and out" Thomas asked me. "Never" I laughed. We got in the car and he pulled out his camera. "Hey this is the intro to Thomas vlog I'm ryland this is my side bitch and my ugly stepbrother" ryland said. Nessa don't say anything just let it go it's fine. "I'm scared what if it's shit" I said to the camera. "You can get a burger and I'll be the desert" Ryland said "STOP" I yelled at him.

I keep thinking Josh is gonna be mad at me I mean I don't know ryland called me his side bitch and was hitting on me. I know it's a joke but he's josh. He doesn't take things like that. We got done filiming and I was hanging out with Mia.

"Nessa what's wrong" she asked me. "I don't know how to show josh my song because some of its about him but it's Tuesday and it's gonna be out in two days so I have to show him before then" I explained and she thought for a second. "Okay okay hear me out. Just send it to him and then he can hear it and your not with him when he does so there's no bad first reaction for you to see" she suggested. "That's actually a really good idea" I told her and texted Josh.

Josh♥️🥨♥️

hey so this is my song I wanted you to hear it before Thursday let me know what you think *audio file* ❤️

Oh wow lemme go listen I'm excited I'm sure it's perfect❤️

Can you come over after your done at the hype house I wanna talk

Sure yeah I'm leaving soon

K see you soon Ness

you too josh

I don't know how's he gonna react. Oh god this is scary. I left the hype house and walked into his room to see him looking sad. Fuck my life.

JOSHS POV

I opened the audio file and listened. I can't say I wasn't surprised by what I was hearing. I knew Nessa was good but this was amazing. This first time I heard it I really didn't listen to the words but the second time. I listened. To every damn word. Is this really how she felt? Was she that upset? I mean I saw her the night we broke up but everyday since then what about them? Is this why she waited so long to show me it because it was at least somewhat about me. Wow. I fucked up bad.

She walked in and I wiped away the sadness on my face. "Hey Ness" I said giving her a hug. She looked up at me "so" she asked. "I'm so sorry" I said and gave her another hug.

"You don't have to be sorry Josh" she told me. "Yes I do. I really do. I left you alone. After we broke up I wasn't there like I said I was going to be and I'm so sorry for that. I love you so much still Nessa and I always will." I said as passionately as I could. "That means a lot Josh. It really does. And I love you so much too more than you know."

We both sat down on my bed. "What are we doing" she asked me. "I don't know" I responded. Honestly I don't know what we're doing. I love her and she loves me but we aren't together because we're afraid to be. I think. I laid down and I held her all night long. It was silent. But it was perfect.

I gotta figure out what the hell im doing because Nessa Barrett is my person and I'm not just gonna let her go.