My Forever - Nessa Barrett and Josh Richards

~Part 58~

NESSAS POV

Once we were in the car I lost it. The tears were streaming down my face but I was just staring forward. Josh was holding me and I didn't say a word. How am I gonna tell my mom? My friends? If I keep it what will everyone think? So many questions raced through my head without answers.

"Nessa Can you talk to me" Josh said. "I don't know what to do" I told him looking up with dad eyes. "I know. Whatever feels right you should do okay?" He said. "No not okay I don't know what feels right" I said sitting up. "What do you want josh?" I asked. He stared at me blankly not expecting that question. "I want whatever you want" he said. "Don't lie to me. I need to know what you want me to do" I said again.

"No Nessa I can't tell you that. This is your choice not mine and then whatever I say you'll go with and that's not how this is gonna work. Your gonna make this choice for you not me. I'll be fine no matter what" he told me rubbing my arm. "Mads drop josh off at home and then I'm taking you home I need to think" I told her and she started driving.

He didn't protest or try and stop me he just let me go. Now it was just me. Me sitting in my trunk looking out at the ocean. Okay Nessa. You could drive to the clinic right now and have this all be over, or you could not. You could make it all nine months and give it up for adoption. Or keep it as your own.

I have the money. I'd be fine. I just don't know if I'm ready. Are me and josh in a good enough place for this? What if he leaves me. I know what I want. I called josh and he picked up immediately. "Josh come to the beach I made my choice" I told him and he said "yeah okay I'm coming right now see you in 5" I hung up and sat there staring out at the water. "You made the right choice Ness" I told myself. I had to believe it for him to believe it.

JOSHS POV

I drove as fast as I could and got there to find her sitting in her trunk. "Hey Nessa" I said sitting next to her. My hands were sweaty. Oh god what did she decide. "Okay Im gonna talk now" she said and I nodded.

"I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't know what my mom will think. Our friends. Social media. I don't know how I'm gonna get through this but I know what I have to do. Josh I can't imagine putting a child through the adoption system. It's so messy. Abusive foster homes who are only in it for money. The trauma, abandonment, anxiety, wondering why you weren't good enough. I just can't do that to a baby. That's why I have to do what I've decided."

My heart sank. She's gonna get an abortion. I swallowed the tears back and she paused for a while. "You can say it I know what your gonna say it's okay" I told her and she looked up at me. "I wanna keep it." My eyes widened and I was in shock "wait what" I asked "yeah. I wanna do this with you" she told me and I picked her up and hugged her shining her around.

"Your not mad?" She asked. "Are you kidding me? This is all I wanted. I love you ness" I said kissing her. "Not the reaction I was expecting but it's a good one" she said laughing. "So now what" I asked. "Now we tell our friends" she said. "Are you sure?" I asked and she nodded.

She sent out a group message telling everyone to come to my house and when we got home they were all there. Lauren, Cynthia, Dixie, Charli, Mads, Madi, Olivia, Darianka, Amelie, Avani, Addison, all the sway boys Old and new, Cooper, Curtis, Thomas, Mia, ryland, Micheal, everyone.

We Walked in. Here goes.

NESSAS POV

"Ness what's going on are you okay?" Darianka asked me and I nodded and looked at Mads and she smiled knowing what I decided just by looking at me. "We have an announcement" I told them all and they looked at me. "I Don't know how you'll all react but I just wanted you to know." I said. They all looked at me in anticipation.

"Oh this is a lot harder than I thought" I said laughing nervously. "Want me to say it" Josh whispered. I nodded. "Well I'm Nessas pregnant and I'm gonna be a dad so pretty normal Thursday eh?" Josh said and they all looked frozen. "Your serious?" Lauren asked. I nodded. "OH MY GOD CAN I BE AN AUNT" Cynthia yelled and all the girls cake and hugged me.

I was laughing and kinda over whelmed. "Guys yo give her some space" Dixie said giving me a hug pushing everyone away a bit. I smiled at them. I saw all the guys congratulating josh. "So words out I guess" I said. "So you gonna tell your parents?" Olivia asked. I nodded and she gave me a tight hug. "No matter what they say you have everyone in this room okay?" Charli said and I smiled "okay" I said and the guys hugged me.

"You better be a good dad or else" Olivia told josh laughing. He looked nervous and smiled scared. "I have the power to kill you so just treat her right" I heard Avani whisper to him. "Okay that's enough death threats" I said sitting on the couch.

I FaceTimed my mom and everyone was quiet. "Hey mama" I said "Janesa sweetie how are you" "good" I told her smiling with josh next to me. "I have somthing to tell you mama" I said and she raised her eyebrows "what is it" she asked "I'm pregnant and I'm gonna keep it" I told her and she just said "I knew as soon as you called baby" "what how" I said laughing "I'm your mother, oh god I have to be a grandmother now, that's terrifying. I love you honey be smart about this and I'm here if you need me" she told me. "Love you too grandma" I said laughing "oh god don't start yet" she said and I waved bye and so did josh. "That when well" I said and everyone cheered.

All the girls and some sway boys stayed but everyone else went home. Josh has called his parents and they were nervous but supportive. Maybe this actually might work out. I have a chance to make a good life with Josh. Here come the mile stones.

"Josh do you wanna move in with me?" I asked him. He looked at Jaden and Anthony and they smiled "yes" he said and I kissed his cheek. "I'm so happy you don't even know" he whispered to me packing up his stuff. "I'm so relieved to hear you say that" I said laying down on his bed.

We kissed for a while and packed his stuff into mine and his car. He said bye to the boys even though he'd probably see them tomorrow. We drove to my two house and got his stuff moved in. "Welcome to my home" I said changing into a sweatshirt and sweatpants. "It's like I've never been here" he said laughing.

Not again. I ran to the bathroom and Josh came after me and held my hair. "I hate puking" I told him. "It's okay I'm not going anywhere and that's a promise he said holding me while we sat on the floor.