Always Running

Seize

Caitlin walks into Jitters the next morning. The circles under her eyes have gotten worse. This is the third night she's gotten next to no sleep. Barry didn't answer her call, but she didn't try too hard. She didn't want to bother him.

"Well you look like hell." Caitlin looks up to see Iris standing in front of the table before sitting down across from her. "Take it the gala wasn't amazing." She smirks at her.

Caitlin glares dramatically at her. "How're Joe and Wally doing?" Caitlin asks to change the subject.

"Rocky. But they'll get there. Right now, I'm just trying to get him to go visit mom." Iris groans. "How could you not go so see your dying parent?"

"If you're not ready to accept that they're dying." Caitlin says. "I worked in a hospital long enough during my residency to know that plenty of people think death will wait for them to accept it. That think avoiding it will make it disappear."

"How did you convince them they're wrong?"

"I didn't. Death did." Caitlin says, giving Iris an apologetic look. "Sometimes people need a little tough love. That needs to come from their loved ones though, not their doctor."

"You think I need to force him?" Iris asks.

"No. Definitely don't do that." Caitlin shakes her head. "Remind him what he's about to lose. Be blunt. Let him know he's not getting it back."

Iris takes a deep breath. "What if I don't know?"

"Then ask him. Sit down with him and ask him about her. Then tell him." Caitlin suggests.

They're both silent for a few minutes. "So. The gala?" Iris says, smirking at Caitlin. Caitlin glares at her. "Oh c'mon. I got my advice, time for you to get yours."

Caitlin groans. "It wasn't the gala. Well, kinda. Okay one, Patty thinks I'm cheating on Barry with the Flash." Iris snorts at this, burying her face in her arms. "Yeah. So, that's fun. Two, I'm sure Joe told you Thawne is back." Iris nods. "Well that's been...not great. I shut down, as always. And I know Barry needed someone to talk to, but I just...I can't be that person with Thawne."

"I heard you two got a place together." Iris says, trying to maybe cheer the subject up. "Are you ready for that?"

"I thought I was." Caitlin says softly. "Barry's biggest weakness is Thawne. He needs someone to be there and...when it comes to Thawne...I just can't be."

"Why not?" Iris asks.

"Because I'm not done with him. I don't think I'll ever be. Being near him, near the thought of him, the idea of him, it scares me. I'm scared what it will bring out in me."

"Like what, Caitlin? You're not him." Iris says reassuringly.

Caitlin looks up and shakes her head. "But I can be." She sighs, throwing her head back, knowing she just had this conversation with Cisco and at the time, it felt like what he said worked, but it never will.

"Then lean on Barry. While you two definitely amplify each other's stubbornness and pride, you also bring out the best in each other. Bring out the good. Stop trying to face Thawne or get over Wells for Barry or be there for him to get through it. Be there with him. And let him be there with you." Iris reaches across and grabs Caitlin's hands. "Don't let him be a weakness for each of you. Let him be something that strengthens both of you."

Caitlin smiles weakly at her and squeezes her hands. "Thanks, Iris."

Iris smiles widely at her. "Anytime. Y'know, we really should look into opening up a therapy clinic. We're getting good at this."