SHE - HS

CHAPTER 5

I walk into the cafe after the men who don't even order a coffee. They just walk in and sit at a table with a couple other people at it. Maybe it was a meeting or something? But who schedules a meeting at nine in the morning at a coffee shop and doesn't order coffee? I mean you do you man.

I walk up to the counter and order my iced caramel latte with vanilla and find a table as I wait for my name to be called. I set the stack of papers in front of me and resume filling out the paperwork on my phone. I was reading through the information quickly, only skimming through the words because I truly didn't care enough to read through the whole thing. As I was skimming the paragraph about what they were judging you on I stopped on the words 'body size'. To some people this wouldn't be an issue, but to me it was a big deal. I have never been one to "show off" in any way. I like wearing my big T-shirts and that's that. Once in a while I will put on something tighter, but that is only if I am self confident enough and that is very rare.

I continued skimming through the information, signed my name on the bottom and sent it to the email. After I sent it my name was called,I grabbed my coffee and sat back down to see if I could do some damage on this pile of papers I have been pushing back to grade. It wasn't that I didn't like grading papers, I love seeing what my students have to write. It was more that I didn't want to take on the topic of the paper.

What is love?

There is no correct answer for this question because everyone views love differently. Some see love as this beautiful sunflower meadow with butterflies and rainbows and all that bullshit. Some see it as a dark tunnel with a light at the end that you need to move mountains and sail seas just to get a better look at.

And others see it as simply just not real.

I have had my fair share of ideas of love. When I was young I remember I thought love was when someone told you your light up sketchers were cool. Then I thought it was a prince that would come to break me out of my castle. Then I grew older and I thought love was when another person found you attractive. That thought didn't last long. When I met River I thought love was when someone sees you as a beautiful flower just waiting to bloom. To him, I was the flower that was waiting to bloom. But I didn't have any sunlight. River was my sunlight. The more the sun was there for me the more I opened. The flower was so happy it finally found the right sunlight. She thought the sunlight would always be around. Sadly that wasn't the case. The flower was very unhappy with the garden she was in. She had always dreamt of going to a bigger garden. The sunlight became furious with the idea and told the skies to create a storm. The sun hid behind the clouds and hasn't come out since. Without the sunlight the flower closed completely and now, isn't sure how or if it will ever open again.

I continue to grade papers and finish my coffee. I love grading papers but it can be so exhausting sometimes. I throw my head on the table and close my eyes.

Maybe I should get another coffee.

I check my phone and see it's only 9:30 so why not. I stand up and stretch my arms up. As I stretch I look around the room. There aren't that many people in the shop today. Besides me, it's just two couples and the table with the men that walked in and their friends at it. As I scanned the table full of people, one of them caught my eye.

That man. He was staring right at me.

He had the same look on his face from the first time I saw him, it looked like a more of a confused face this time but still a hint of shock in it. I returned his look of confusion and decided I would wave to him to maybe break him from his trance. The second my hand moved his head shot back to the other people at the table as if he was never staring. I was absolutely lost at this point and just decided to shake it off and get another coffee.

As I continue to grade papers, I couldn't help but take small glances at the table across the way. Every time I look I meet his eyes for a split second until he turns his head back around. After the third or fourth time I decide enough is enough.

I huff and set my pen on top of the remaining papers. I keep my gaze on the table, more specifically, at the man. It only takes a couple seconds to pass before he looks over again. I put both my arms on the table resting my head in my left hand, leaving my other hand free. The second he looks over we make eye contact. I didn't hesitate to raise my right hand and wave at him with a small smirk and my eyebrows raised.

The second he sees me wave his eyes go wide. Then all of a sudden they soften. I see a small smirk start to form on his face before all the people stand up and shake each other's hands. His attention is back on the table as he stood up as well and shook everyone's hand. As he shook their hands he gave them a beautiful smile that showed off his deep dimples with a twinkle in his eye. I think it was safe to say this man was very, very handsome.

I kept my gaze on the table to see what his next move was. His eyes connected back with mine for only a split second until a hand grabbed his arm and took him out of the store. He looked distraught at being pulled out of the cafe but the man didn't look like he was caring at all. He gave one last look back to me and I waved as he just smirked showing off the shallow part of his dimples.

I finish up my papers, pack up and head back to my car. I get in my car and decide I will plug in aux again. I hit shuffle and  'landslide' by Fleetwood Mac starts to play.

As I sat there and listened to Stevie Nicks' beautiful voice I can't help but wish I would've gotten that boy's name. I would say maybe I'll see him again, but LA is huge. There's just no way.