WHAT IS HAPPINESS FOR US

18

[Possible trigger warning: readers discretion is advised]

Jaemin was greeted by his relatives when he entered at the house. It has been a really tiring day at school but Jaemin managed to a flash a sweet smile.

"You are home?" One of his uncle asked and he nodded.

"How was school?"

"As per normal." He replied briefly.

He bowed to them and excuse himself to the kitchen. He knows that they have not been served any drinks which was why he took the initiative to make some for them.

His mother was busy talking to them when he returned back with a glass of warm drinks. It was the moment when his 12year old...younger brother came back.

Kijun

Jaemin has a total 3 siblings, he is the 3rd child.

Kyemin and Jisoo are Jaemin's older sisters. They are both are married and both of them live by themselves now.

"Omg you look really good Kijun!" His auntie praised the younger as he took off his shoes.

"Your son is really good looking eh?" His uncle continued.

Jaemin placed the drinks down and went back to the kitchen.

"I can see that he'd definitely marry first before Jaemin." The both of them chuckled along with his mom.

"Not that Jaemin is ugly... he's good to?, but Kijun is more attractive and Jaemin is just fat that's all." Her aunt tried to cover up.

Jaemin heard all of that and smile softly. This isn't the first time anyway. In school, many people were shocked to know that Kijun is Jaemin's younger brother.

They see absolutely no resemblance and that made the students make fun of Jaemin.

They would constantly say how Kijun is more good looking than Jaemin and that Jaemin is the black hole of the siblings.

His two older sister are gorgeous as well.

One day Hyerin's group  came up to Jaemin just to ask,

"That's your brother?"

"How come he is good looking and you are ugly?"

Straight up to his face as if those words doesn't hurt him the slightest

But it did

And it hurts so bad.

_
Author here: sometimes I ask myself why is always a bully in your life even though you didn't do anything wrong about their life.

I don't know but I see a lot of ignorant people these days like you never done anything bad to them... they're just going to make your day, miserable...tch well fuck you all.
_

"You gotta be careful with that one...I can see in the future, girls will crowding him soon." Her Aunt laugh.

Jaemin look at his reflection in the mirror and slowly shed a tear.

Why do people easily say things as if it doesn't hurt anyone."

Is other people's insecurities a joke to them?

Why can't we just keep all those negative opinions to ourselves?

Must everything be said openly?

Jaemin ask himself over and over

Jaemin quickly made his way to the bathroom and close it shut.

He sat on the white tiles and cried.

Tears stream down his face uncontrollably. Jaemin doesn't know if he is sensitive but sure he knows that those words, those simple words actually went right through him.

How could a word be that strong.

How could words break a human heart so easily?

Jaemin mentally tore his hair as he punched his tummy and slap his face.

He doesn't want to be ugly and fat anymore.

Scratch that, he doesn't even feel like living anymore.

All the people around him degrade him so much that he felt like ending his life soon.

He doesn't want to sound dramatic but honestly, every single time this happens, it made him tear up.

Jaemin really felt insecure.

Ever since he was young.

Which led him to the stage of depressions.

All this things about being the 'perfect' human being is starting to eat him up.

He doesn't want to live this way. He wants to be confident with his appearance. He wants to be able look to wear whatever he likes and look good in it.

He doesn't want to be treated like a trash.

Its really making him feel worthless.

He sank his head on his palms and stare at his hands.

People say that sometimes, when you cut yourself, it will feel good.

It will feel better.

Maybe that will make Jaemin happier.

While crying, he suddenly let out small inaudible laughs.

"I thought that I'd never reach this stage where self harm actually brought happiness to me."

"The stage where I hurt myself only to make me feel better."

He chuckle softly as he grab a blade he had always kept close to him and slowly run it through his skin.

True enough, it makes him smile.

¯\_ಠ_ಠ_/¯

Author here: that's why people when you open your mouth make it sure that those words you been releasing has a meaning.

Think before you speak

Like these "If I say something to him or her will they be hurt, happy or they're willing to accept it?"

Even when you joking guys...yeah it might be funny to you, but what about the person, the one you making fun of it.

Sometimes you gonna limit your boundaries... don't cross the line if your not need it.

Where just HUMAN we have feelings too.