Before Reality Knocks (DLC Series #1)

Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Mama..."

She briefly glanced at me before returning her attention to her laptop. 

"Yes?" she asked.

Napakamot naman ako sa ulo ko. Wala naman talaga akong balak tanungin si Mama tungkol dito pero sobrang na-guilty ako kay Brant. Nadulas kasi ako at nasabi kong hindi ko naman talaga natanong sa parents ko iyong tungkol sa retreat. Simula nun, hindi niya na ako pinansin. Nag-tampo talaga.

Last week pa 'yon ah. So isang linggo niya na ako hindi pinapansin.

Asking Mama right now is such a futile attempt. Isipin mo, last month pa sinubmit iyong consent form tsaka payment, tapos bukas na 'yong mismong retreat. Paanong papayagan ako ni Mama eh una, hindi naman talaga sila pumapayag na sumama ako sa anumang field trip or school outing; pangalawa, biglaan ba naman.

Isa pa, let's say na pumayag si Mama. Papayag ba iyong teacher namin 'tsaka iyong school administrator? Eh last minute ako biglang sasama.

Kahit alam kong imposible, tatanungin ko parin si Mama para naman masabi ko kay Brant na talagang kahit magpaalam ako, hindi talaga ako papayagan ni Mama.

Hay nako.

The things I do for Brant.

"Our school prepared a retreat for our batch," I said in Spanish. "Will you allow me to―" I paused when she shifted her gaze to me, a slight frown was plastered on her lips.

"Blair, you know you can't―"

"Yeah, I know," I said, waving my hand dismissively.

At least I tried.

Para naman kahit papaano mabawasan iyong guilt na nararamdaman ko for lying to Brant.

Pagkatapos nun ay dumiretso na ako sa kwarto at tinext si Brant na talagang nag-paalam ako at talagang hindi ako pinayagan. Hindi siya nag-reply so either tulog na siya or ayaw niya lang ako sagutin. Pero since maaga pa, I believe it's the latter. Hindi ko nalang siya kinulit at natulog na.

Naalimpungatan ako nang maramdaman kong may yumuyugyog sa 'kin. I burrowed myself into my cold comforter and groaned when the shaking did not halt.

"Ano... ba..." I mumbled, still sleepy. "Gusto... mong... mamatay?"

"What's that, Blair Ruby?"

Agad akong napabalikwas nang marinig ko iyong boses ni Mama. Mapupungay iyong mga mata ko habang tinatanaw iyong taong kasalukuyang nakapamewang sa harap ko. 

"Mama?" Naguguluhan kong tanong.

Napakurap ako bago ko kinusot iyong mata ko. I was half wondering if I was still dreaming as I take in her figure. Within seconds of realizing that she was really standing in front of me, my forehead creased in confusion.

"The retreat you're talking about, is it today?" She asked.

Sandali akong hindi nakaimik dahil gulong-gulo parin ako sa mga pangyayari. Nang mahimasmasan ako, kaagad na lumalim iyong pagka-kunot ng noo ko.

Bakit biglang curious si Mama sa retreat namin?

Nagtataka man ay sumagot parin ako. "No Ma, it's tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" she frowned. "But tomorrow's Sunday."

"Huh?" Nagtataka kong sambit. "Hindi kaya," I paused, completely forgetting that she couldn't understand Filipino. "Mama, have you checked your calendar? Today's Friday. I came from school, remember?"